World AIDS Day – A Flashback to Personal Courage
On December 1, the world pauses to talk about HIV and AIDS. It’s a reminder that a hidden battle can be fought everyday, even when you’re leading the double life of a regular guy.
The Everyday Hero – “Weston”
Meet Weston (a pseudonym, because his real name is as guarded as his medical status). On the outside, he’s a pretty ordinary 30‑something: a steady job in healthcare, a tidy spreadsheet of savings, and the dream of a family trip that spans continents. He’s the kind of guy who would sign up straight for a holiday resort, not a therapist’s office.
The Hidden Diagnosis
What most of his loved ones don’t know? A decade ago, Weston was diagnosed with HIV. It’s a condition that has silently kept him twice as cautious: once in his personal life and once in his social media game.
From Secret to Social
For years, he leaned on just a handful of close friends and the steady support of his 7‑year partner. But then he hit the Instagram “positivelivinginsg” and discovered a new outlet. Suddenly, his mind was no longer a silent vault; it was a public diary where he scribbled his fears, hopes, and the odd little joys that come with being an HIV‑positive person.
Loose Strings with the Unexpected
- Sweet strangers started messaging him with cheering words.
- Icons, too, took notice – the famed Pose star Dominique Jackson left a “like” on one of Weston’s posts.
- Every interaction felt like a handshake, a quiet nod that “you’re not alone” in this whole mess.
Fine‑print: The True Power of Digital Bulwark
It turns out that in the age of fingers tapping hashtags, “support” isn’t just something we get from the people next to us. It can arrive from a screen, a slide of a comment, or just the glow of an illuminated “like.” That’s the real kicker of World AIDS Day. It’s not just about the cause but about the people who talk about it, who laugh, and who help a real story like Weston’s do.
Final Thought
So, let’s raise a toast (open your phones, not your mouths) to the quiet warriors who migrate from the hidden to the visible, to the strange bonds that flow through likes and comments, and to the fact that real change begins with local bravery. And next time your Insta has someone else’s heart open, remember: they’re out in the world, showing that even hidden stories can shine bright on a page.
‘He was cheating on me’
Weston’s Roller‑Coaster Journey to Getting the Truth
It wasn’t until he was a college student that Weston finally had to swallow the big shock: he’d been bitten by HIV after a fling with a former boyfriend. He’s been wrestling with that news for years—pretty much one of the most raw episodes of his life.
What Went Down
- Weston learning he was infected only after a fancy high‑fever week.
- His ex didn’t even whisper a suggestion to catch a test—talk about a betrayal.
- After a deceivingly mundane clinic visit, feeling like the world had slipped between his fingers, he took a lift to the ninth floor of a nearby HDB block.
There, he stared at a question in the mirror that almost made him wish he could be a superhero: “Should I jump? I’m juggling my gayness, and now this… HIV?”
The Weight of Boredom and Beyond
Within a week, he stared down self‑destructive thoughts, fighting off the urge to empty the town. Then—a pop‑into‑gearing, life‑changing moment—he decided to let a few trusted confidantes in:
- He reached out to three of his best mates.
- They didn’t bark off—no, not at all.
- They pitched in with money for meds, and offered a solid flat-living arrangement until he calmed.
The best part? He’s kept this part of his life under lock‑and‑key but shared it only when confidence was stuff‑solid—his friends stayed cool.
What’s Happening Now?
Weston’s been holding tight to the secret for nine years now. The trust he’s earned from those he opened up to is a lifeline, and the emotional grounding keeps him from falling apart.
It goes to show that the best part of a tough conversation is lines that lead you to a teammate who’s ready to live, laugh, and share the stages of inevitable season, no matter the next beat.
Living in the shadows
When Secrets Bite: Weston’s Tale of Love, Health, and a Hidden Family Secret
Weston’s life feels like a double‑edged sword. On one side he’s juggling the fight against HIV, and on the other—an impossible family secret that’s kept him from a full‑sibling hug.
Keeping Secrets in a Traditional Household
Growing up in a household that didn’t have a catechism on queer joy or HIV backbone—think of it as a “no talk” zone. If topics ever surfaced, they’d come out drenched in judgment.
“I want my family to see me as the person I really am—a brave, gay guy battling HIV,” Weston confessed, “but I’m also scared they’ll feel the heat from relatives critiquing them for having a gay child.”
A TV Moment That Changed Everything
A few months ago, while binge‑watching a documentary with his mom, the screen slipped into a disallowed stereotype: “HIV is a gay disease.” The words hit harder than a flattened pizza slice. Weston realized that even his own mother hadn’t known he was living with the virus, let alone that he’d come out as gay. From that point, the “know‑it‑all moment” became the reason he kept his burdens silent.
The Price of a Discrete Life
Every day he refills two prescriptions—Kivexa and Edurant. They used to cost him a staggering $600+ a month—yes, a lot for a student with zero side hustle income.
Enter the “lifesavers”: his social worker, MediFund, and the Medication Assistance Fund. Together, they lowered his monthly bill from a budget‑busting $600 to a more manageable $100. Freshness brewing? You bet. The Ministry of Health subsidized national HIV drugs last September. His MediSave wrapper is now a straight‑up $100 withdrawal—no more worried-sneezing about that tuition letter.
With or Without Familial Support?
Weston’s message to anyone in similar shoes? Carry your own courage, and if the world pings you with affection or hate, privacy is a shield. Until the day his family can open the book of “queer rights and compassionate disease care,” he will hold that inventory together. Though, a good joke here: “If my mom ever replaced her couch with my medication, we’d finally get a full house!”
Finding love
Weston’s Journey: From Fearful Secrets to a Love That Blooms
When life handed him a diagnosis, he didn’t just face a virus – he faced a story.
The Magic of Undetectable
- Since the 2000s, science has shown that people with an undetectable viral load can’t transmit HIV through sex.
- That means with the right medication, you can live a normal, everyday life.
It took West to a year after the diagnosis to hit that 0ish line, but that milestone didn’t solve all the hurdles.
Opening Up Was a Hardie
“The thought of telling a potential love partner was scary,” he shares. “I dreaded rejection, or being called ‘dirty’ or ‘unclean’.”
One time, he even played the ghost game: he just said he wasn’t interested to skip mentioning the whole HIV thing. Turns out that was a bad move – a friend on Instagram confessed it was painful.
Fast forward, and the right person stepped into his life ~seven years ago. With each laugh, each cry, their bond grew stronger, and the secret that once weighed heavy became just another part of their love story.
Happily Ever After: From Confession to Commitment
Picture this: you’re casually dropping questions about HIV into a conversation, no big reveal, just a friendly chat about the “why’s and how’s” of living with the condition. Then, in the middle of a casual date, you finally say the words that could change everything: “I have HIV.”
His reaction? A warm hug, a quiet nod, and a secret promise that “everything will be okay.” Talk about a smooth transition from nerves to a new partnership! The moment they decided to tie the knot (or at least, officially label their relationship) it felt like destiny finally caught up.
Why This Works So Well
- Open Communication – He’s already out and about with his stance on HIV, giving our hero a solid foundation of credibility.
- Understanding & Compassion – A partner who knows the stakes and respects the journey is priceless.
- Feeling “Normal” Again – According to Weston, this relationship makes him feel like a regular guy without the label of a life‑changer.
Feeling Lucky in Love
Weston shares, “I guess I misbehaved a bit by picking a guy who’s super knowledgeable about HIV and accepting of PLHIV. I’m just grateful for that.” He’s living proof that a little bit of research and courage can land you a love that’s as normal as coffee on a rainy morning.
Takeaway
Finding someone who truly understands and accepts you is priority #1 in any relationship, especially when it involves health topics. If you’re searching for a partner, look for knowledge, empathy, and a willingness to support: you’ll not only get a date but a lifelong teammate.
‘I’m still afraid of being stigmatised’
Weston’s Story: Battling HIV & Breaking the Stigma
Despite moving forward since his diagnosis nine years ago, Weston still can’t imagine telling his family or going public. “I’m still scared of being judged and discriminated against,” he says.
What He’s Encountered
- The loudest myth: “The LGBTQ community gets HIV because they’re promiscuous.”
- HIV doesn’t care who you’re with. Weston, like many PLHIV, got infected in a monogamous relationship.
- People often focus on how the virus slipped in instead of freaking out over the importance of support.
Advice for Allies
Rather than nitpicking the story of the infection, channel that energy into how you can help. Weston says:
- “No one can decide if they’ll disclose the diagnosis to loved ones. It’s a tough climb because of the stigma.”
- “I want anyone newly diagnosed to know the road is hard, but it’s absolutely doable if you keep going.”
Want to learn more about HIV and AIDS? Check out Action for Aids (AFA).
SINGAPORE HELPLINES
Know Your Lifelines: Mental Health Help in Singapore
#1 Calling for a Listening Ear
- Samaritans of Singapore – 1800‑221‑4444 (24/7, free, no judgment)
- Singapore Association for Mental Health – 1800‑283‑7019 (punch‑in for support)
#2 Talking in Mandarin
- Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin) – 1800‑353‑5800 (next‑door chat‑up for Chinese speakers)
#3 Quick‐Help Hotline
- Institute of Mental Health’s Helpline – 6389‑2222 (do not wait; call now)
- Silver Ribbon – 6386‑1928 (the friendliest chat line on the block)
Got a Burning Question? Reach Out!
Email: [email protected] – your one‑stop inbox for any Aids/HIV, sexual health, Homosexuality/LGBT, or general Health & Well‑being concerns.
What is Covered?
- Aids/HIV and sexual health concerns
- Homosexuality/LGBT specific queries
- General health and wellbeing checks
- Mental health support and counseling
Remember:
It’s okay to say “I need help.” The phones above are all set to be your comforting companions. If you’re in Singapore and feeling a heavy load, these numbers are just a call away.
