The 2020 Checklist – A Laugh‑Out‑Loud Retrospective
Yo, we’re almost outta that ridiculous year where the pandemic ruled your daily life. Here’s a fun quick‑scan so you can brag about how wildly outrageous 2020 was.
Classic Mask Missteps
- Wrong way mask: You pretended to be a superhero by flipping your disposable mask inside out and over the wrong nose part.
- Secretly unmasking: On the job you gave the anonymous internal nose‑science a peek by slipping it off.
- Breath‑holding to jogger drama: You swallowed a cough of the nearest sprinting jogger – no mask, all grit.
- Eyeballing sneezers: Strong courtesy oath: “No sneeze! No cough! No ribbing about your laksa!”
Budget‑Chasing & Cosmetic Blunders
- Expensive face‑shield plans: You counted the $$$ from your “Can’t Travel” savings to splurge on a $1,000+ Louis Vuitton Face Shield – but the mask must still nest beneath.
- Neglecting everyday grooming: Skipped shaving, kissed lips, or any other routine showing.
Zany Fan‑Fodder and Akward Shopping
- BBT queue (April 21): You waited for hours for “BBT” before the stores were toppled by a circuit breaker like a lightsaber duel.
- Crazy WhatsApp chat title: “I FOUND KLEENEX TOILET PAPER AT THE CHANGI AIRPORT BRANCH OF NTUC. GO. NOW.” – too real, too wild.
- TP hoarding saga: You bought a mountain of toilet paper and then realised your bat‑ty‑bags were an excess, flippin’ “more TP than people.”
- Noodle saturation: Instant noodles? Socked bygone. Then the reality hit – only so many gene‑modified kimchi flavors & MSG can survive.
“Pivot”‑In‑Action & Local Hustle Love
- Pushing the “pivot” word: You tacked it into every corporate memo, sometimes correctly, sometimes just to sound sharp – “Chicken rice stall shut; pivoted to yong tau foo noodles.”
- Side‑biz champion: You rallied local home‑based biz, now picking the best epok epok, ang ku kueh and “Basque‑burnt” cheesecake – burger‑in‑human terms of “SingapoRediscovers.”
Home‑Life Adventures
- Personal Zoom room: You have a Zoom space with a lucky 8s room number that you hope will sell someday.
- Real‑life metre lesson: The social‑distancing ambassador taught you the “meter” by lining up in the wet market.
- Uniqlo Airism spend: $285 in all‑day‑at‑home singlets because your mum insists on keeping the AC on.
- Enjoying WFH vibes: Nuahing in your Airism singlets as your mom cooks the most comforting lunch -> you dodge the $10.99 Nasi Padang price tag.
- Family excuses: Your government‑sanctioned classics: skip the dinner with 53 kaypoh relatives.
- No stupid Secret Santa: You’re over it – no office egg‑shell laughs.
Verdict
- Only one checkbox ticked? You were born after 2020.
- At least 10 boxes? You’re the type who knows when to pivot, and when not to.
- All 20 boxes? Congratulation, request your “You Did It (All) in 2020!” badge of honour from the system administrator.
That’s it! You’ve survived the pandemic jungle, kissed with the absurdities of 2020, and now you’re ready for a brand‑new year.
