Lights, Camera, Reality: Ng Yiqin Tackles Family Violence in Singapore
Singapore‑based filmmaker Ng Yiqin just dropped a sharp, short‑form gem on Viddsee, the local platform that’s all about high‑quality short films. The piece, titled “Something I Wanted To Ask,” dives head‑first into the heavy topics of domestic abuse, toxic masculinity, and how the mess inside a house can spill out onto little ones.
What the Film Gives Us
- The story follows a teenager wrestling with the tangled relationship between a violent father and a battered mother.
- Along the way, he starts to question what it truly means to “be a man” in a society where aggression is often mistaken for courage.
- The film warns us that the consequences of abuse ripple far beyond the immediate household—leaving scars on the next generation.
Shocking Local Numbers
- 1 in 10 Singaporean women have faced lifetime physical violence from a male.
- Over 70 % of these abused women are unlikely to file a police complaint.
- More than 80 % of respondents feel that women should endure violent relationships if they have children.
Rumor has it that Ng Yiqin was gripped by the desire to shine a spotlight on these grim realities and to give voice to the ones who’ve been silenced for too long. When we hit her up to chat, she shared how she sees cinema as a mirror—an honest reflection of societal wounds that can inspire change when we look closely.
Why Film Matters
According to Ng Yiqin, films have the power to stir emotions, spark conversations, and even push policy shifts. By telling stories that resonate on a personal level, filmmakers create a ripple effect that can nurture empathy and prompt viewers to question the status quo.
“If we keep telling these stories in a cinema seat, we’re just watching like a spectator. But when we watch on a couch or a phone screen, the same story becomes part of our day‑to‑day reflection,” she explained. “That’s when change begins.”
Takeaway
Let’s keep watching, but let’s also keep talking. Every story that surfaces about family violence reminds us that we’re all part of the same community—whether it’s up on the stage or down in the living room.
The day I saw my dad hit my mum…
theAsianparent: What was the inspiration behind making ‘Something I Wanted To Ask’?
From a Playful Spark to a Real‑Life Journey
The Initial Lightbulb Moment
I began this project as a creative exercise—inventing a violent drama felt exciting because it was new territory. Nothing more remarkable than the idea itself, except that it promised a fresh twist.
Reality Hits with Stereotypes
When I first sketched the characters, they landed in the dreaded land of unrealistic tropes. I sensed a wash‑out: the violence was there, but the people behind it were cardboard.
Digging Deeper: A Surprising Discovery
- Finding survivors of domestic abuse was astonishingly simple.
- Their stories, layered and raw, shifted my horizon.
- It became clear my story needed depth, not one‑dimensional brushstrokes.
Refocusing Through a Teenage Lens
To honor those voices, I rewired the narrative to follow a teenaged protagonist. This perspective:
- Allowed for honest, intimate exploration of the abuse’s ripple effects.
- Made the drama less about spectacle and more about human experience.
- Added subtle humor where appropriate—because even in heavy moments, a dash of levity keeps empathy alive.
Lessons Learned
Adapting the genre taught me:
- Research is non‑negotiable when dealing with sensitive topics.
- Authenticity beats novelty any day.
- Every character should mirror the complexity of real life.
So, from a playful idea thrown into the creative void, this project evolved into a layered, heartfelt tale—one that respects the gravity of domestic abuse while still letting curiosity spark the narrative. It turned my initial excitement into a chance to give a voice to those often unheard.
Getting Real About Manhood in Your Teens
Why it Matters
- Fluid Minds, Hard Choices – In the playground of adolescence, ideas are still bubbling, and decisions about identity feel like a roller‑coaster.
- Heart‑warming Year of Discovery – Every jab at gender expectations can ripple through friends, family, and classmates.
- One Question, Big Impact – “What does it really mean to be a man?” can spark both laughs and deep conversations.
How to Invite the Conversation
- Kick off with a Group Chat – Drop the question on a forum or pizza party, and let the responses flow free.
- Flip the Script – Ask a teen to describe masculinity in one weird sentence, then compare.
- Bring in the Outside Voices – Invite a teacher, a coach, or even a community elder to share a quick story about modern men.
What Could Be Grown From Feeling Unformed
- Creativity Unleashed – With no rigid molds, experimentation becomes kind of a normal hobby.
- Empathy for Others – Watching someone wrestle with identity can teach compassion for everyone’s journey.
- Hilarious Missteps – Being flexible means you’ll stumble, but each slip can be a giggle‑worthy, life‑lesson.
In the end, the teenage years blur the line between “who I am” and “who I want to be.” Engaging them with a simple, sweet question about masculinity can turn a quiet mind into a loud, thoughtful conversation that touches the whole circle of life. So, why not nudge a teen toward the front page of their own story today?
theAsianparent: How do you think domestic violence affects kids?
Getting Inside the Minds of Kids Raised in a Volatile Home
Picture this: a little one watches their parents spank, heckle, or yell at each other on a daily basis. As awkward as it may sound, many kids end up thinking that “violent vibes” are the new normal, and “respect” goes straight to the back of their minds.
Why This Matters
Normalised violence doesn’t stay confined to the living room. It spills over into schoolyards, friend circles, and even future relationships. Children who grow up believing that fights are just the way things roll often perpetuate the cycle— big shame, big consequence.
What the Film Brings to the Table
- Reality Check: An honest look at how unchecked aggression shapes a child’s worldview.
- Fear vs. Freedom: Highlighting the tension between feeling safe and feeling pressured.
- “Hey, But…” Moments: Giving viewers a chuckle – and a reality – that sometimes it’s easier to laugh than to confront.
In a Nutshell
The film aims to shine a bright, flag‑rant beam on a subtle menace: when kids grow up thinking that parents’ bickering is just part of life, they learn to copy it, making vengeance the default response. It’s a call to break this vicious loop before it takes root.
theAsianparent: What was the research that went into the making of this movie?
Unpacking Power and Balance in Love — Ng Yiqin’s Short‑Film Journey
A curious mind led Ng Yiqin to peek behind the curtain of relationship dynamics. He wanted to grasp the tug‑of‑war between power and balance, so he reached out to folks with real‑world domestic‑violence experience and listened up close to their stories.
Finding the Voices
To his surprise, he easily met people who had lived through abuse. It turned out that the path to understanding isn’t as lonely or inaccessible as people think—you just need a good ear.
The Ten‑Year Tale
He heard a particularly striking story: a woman who stayed in a harrowing relationship for a full ten years. “It’s wild how some victims cling to abusive partners,” Ng Yiqin mused. That revelation opened up a whole new layer of questions.
Diving Into Complexity
- Explored the emotional knots that keep people tethered.
- Unraveled the tricky interplay of love, fear, and societal pressures.
- Gained a fresh perspective on the hidden props that shape these relationships.
The Film’s Snapshot
The short film produced by Ng Yiqin is just a small window into the tangled web of such relationships; it’s an invitation to keep digging and to bring the hidden narratives into the light.
theAsianparent: Can films influence society to change for the better?
Why Movies Matter: A Quick Take from Ng Yiqin
Alright, let’s break it down: Ng Yiqin believes that film isn’t just entertainment—it’s a mirror reflecting our human story.
- Art + Mirror: Movies capture the essence of who we are, what feels in our hearts.
- Conversation Starter: A good film can spark talks about our future path.
- Subjective, Yet Insightful: Even if a show feels personal to you, it still offers a starting point for change.
Bottom Line
The silver screen is a powerful tool, helping us see ourselves and our direction—one reel at a time.
theAsianparent: In the movie, the husband is seen raging with anger when he gets to know that his wife took a decision without consulting him. What is your opinion about patriarchal society and toxic masculinity?
Unpacking Toxicity: The Full Picture
Key Takeaway: Toxicity isn’t just an isolated buzzword—it’s a multifaceted beast that thrives in every corner of our lives. In my latest film, I spotlighted just a sliver of that spectrum, hoping to illuminate the bigger picture.
Why the Locker Room Bunch?
- Locker rooms are notorious for cliques and beef—no surprise.
- They mirror the drama we face at home, but with a high‑octane spin.
- The parallels are clear: the same patterns of power, control, & passive aggression play out in both arenas.
What’s the Bottom Line?
Our surroundings shape us—kind of like how the pranks at school can ripple into our everyday habits. If we stay oblivious, we run the risk of letting that toxic environment steer our ship in the wrong direction. It’s a heads‑up from the filmmakers: the film is just scratching the surface, but the conversation doesn’t end there.
Take Action
- Spot the toxic habits early.
- Question why you’re stuck in certain patterns.
- Actively change the narrative around you.
Bottom line: If we don’t notice the toxic vibes steering us, we’ll end up dancing to a tune we never chose.
theAsianparent: “Will I be like him when I grow up?” The son asks. How do you feel dads influence their sons?
How a Father’s Quiet Strength Shapes a Son’s Journey
In the film, Andy’s relationship with his father, Ernest, is a subtle but powerful story of respect that runs beneath the surface of their clashing views.
The Unspoken Bond
- Respect amidst disagreement: Even when Andy and Ernest clash over life’s big questions, the son still feels a deep reverence for his dad’s wisdom and influence.
- Desire for closeness: The movie’s climax reveals a yearning from Andy to bridge the gap between them, showing that the longing for a genuine father‑son connection is present until the very last frame.
It’s Not a Trope
Rather than a typical “hero’s journey,” this narrative highlights how a father’s quiet confidence can plant a seed of hope that blossoms in his son’s heart, even when the path is riddled with conflict.
Takeaway
In every story, the hardest lessons come from the people we look up to the most. Andy reminds us that respect isn’t about agreement—it’s about the unbreakable backbone of trust, love, and the small, everyday acts that define a bond.
theAsianparent: How was your own childhood and interaction with your father like?
Growing Up With a Forward‑Thinking Dad
Dad’s Progressive Vision
My dad always likened himself to a “next‑gen” father, proudly pointing out that my mom never had the chances she deserved in her youth. He made sure the whole family was aware of this truth, which deepens our respect for the love she’s poured into us.
A Childhood Sparked by Books
From a tender age, the smell of fresh paper and the feel of turning pages became my secret ritual. My dad, as every collector of stories, gifted me books like lifelines—each one a tiny doorway to adventure.
Love That Shows Up, Not Just Words
- When I was 20 and my mother fretted at the idea of me backpacking, he didn’t just give a quick “go ahead.” He secretly slipped me extra pocket money, making the trip feel safe.
- His actions—buying those pocket coins, cheering at the airport—quietly screamed, “I’ve got your back.”
What It Means Today
Dad’s encouragement taught me that bold steps sometimes need a gentle push. Now, whenever a new adventure calls, I remember those books on my shelf, that pocket money tucked in my wallet, and the quiet confidence flung my way by a father who stops talking at the gate.
theAsianparent: What message would you like to convey through ‘Something I Wanted To Ask’?
Ng Yiqin Breaks Down the “Modern Man” Myth
What’s Up With “Be a Man”?
Ever heard the shout “be a man!” or the cliche “man up” at a table? Ng Yiqin says we’re all guilty of tossing around those tags in everyday chat. But who calls on the bellboy’s voice to decide what it really means to be a man?
Identity: It’s Not Black‑and‑White
- Kids getting a “yes” from us to use nasty words.
- Growing up with porn that treats women like objects.
- Turning a blind eye when they sneak hateful comments into “just a joke.”
Sink your teeth into that mix, and it’s a recipe for bullying and domestic violence that’s all too bright‑light‑visible.
Film: The Playground for “The Gray Area”
Movies paint life in shades. The interviewer reminded us: “There are a thousand questions, and that’s the beauty.” Chemistry? The obvious? Mixed shades that help us notice the middle ground.
Mum in the Spotlight
A scene that forced us to ask: Is Mum a victim? The narrative shows her shouting at her partner, but slide in a line like “If she’d just bite her tongue, maybe we’d see another angle?” It’s the same script, yet the interpretation flips from “victim” to “violent.” What a puzzle!
Hold a Mirror, Be a Problem or Solution
Andy’s questions cleverly open a window for every viewer: “Can you truly see your mirrors spuriously speaking “I am a solution” or “I am a part of the problem?” Seeking such reflection could be the first step toward better dialogue.
Takeaway & Appreciation
Ng Yiqin for seizing the opportunity to share her deep view on gender and society. If you’re still wondering about complex clichés, take a cue from her discussion and check out Something I Wanted To Ask.
Helplines for dealing with family violence in Singapore
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When Chaos Hits: Quick‑Grab Tips for Escaping an Abusive Relationship
Feeling trapped? Don’t panic—listen up. Below are actionable steps that can help you regain control and safety, with a dash of humor to keep your spirits up.
1. Reach Out for Support
- Tell a trusted friend or family member that you’re in trouble. Sometimes a simple “I need help” is enough to spark action.
- Call a helpline 24/7. They’re like your personal SOS squad, ready to guide you on the next move.
- Consider a supportive group chat with people who’ve faced similar situations. Shared stories can build a safety net.
2. Create a Safety Plan
- Stock up on essentials (cash, ID, phone) and stash them in a discrete bag—call it “The Escape Kit.”
- Map out exit routes from each room. Knowing where you can quickly leave is power.
- Set a code word with your confidants that signals you’re in danger and need help immediately.
3. Document Everything
- Keep a journal or digital log of incidents (dates, times, details). Accuracy matters if you ever need legal evidence.
- Attach photographs or videos of injuries or damaged property if safe to do so. No risk, no reward.
- Back up your evidence on a cloud service so it’s safe from potential tampering.
4. Reach Legal Help
- Seek a restraining order to legally prohibit the abuser from contacting you.
- Consult attorneys or legal nonprofits specializing in domestic violence cases.
- Conserve any communication records (texts, emails) that could support your claim.
5. Engage Professional Support
- Talk to a therapist or counselor—professional help is essential for healing.
- Find local domestic‑violence shelters which offer safe rooms, counseling, and legal aid.
- Don’t hesitate to use online resources or forums for coping strategies.
6. Safeguard Your Digital Life
- Change all password settings across email, social media, and financial accounts.
- Turn on two‑factor authentication for added security.
- Remove any apps or contacts that let the abuser track your location.
7. Plan for the Long Term
- Develop a financial plan: open a separate bank account if possible.
- Look into employment or education options to build independence.
- Set a new address or contact info to keep your future safe.
8. Keep Your Spirits High
- Find a hobby that makes you feel alive and happy—maybe salsa dancing or baking muffins.
- Surround yourself with positive mental energy through podcasts, books, or movies that lift your mood.
- Celebrate every victory—whether it’s staying safe for a day or simply not blinking in the morning.
In short, when you’re stuck in a vicious loop, remember you’re not alone, and every small step is a stride toward freedom. Stay safe, stay brave, and keep that humor alive—it’s the best weapon against despair. Good luck out there!
1. Seek help immediately
Got an Emergency? Don’t Wait—Act Fast!
Police (Emergency): 999
Looking for immediate advice or help? AWARE Helpline has got you covered. Call 1800 777 5555 during the week:
- Mon–Fri from 3 pm to 9:30 pm
Remember, if someone’s life is at risk, the fastest route is to dial 999 right now. Better safe than sorry—get help while you can!
2. See the doctor
Uh‑Oh! Got a Minor or Major Ouch? Get to the Doc!
Quick tip: If your injury is serious, don’t wait around for a miracle—run to a medical center ASAP. Your body’s not on the lay‑off list; it needs prompt attention.
- Tell the truth—no excuses. Doctors can’t diagnose what’s wrong if you tell them it’s “just a scratch” when it’s actually a broken arm. Behind the white coats, honesty is the best medicine.
- Your info stays locked down. The law protects your medical records, so you can keep your secrets safe and your health confidential.
- Feeling abused? If you’re dealing with a tough situation, a doctor’s official report can be a lifesaver. Use it when you apply for a Personal Protection Order (PPO); it’s solid evidence that your safety needed medical backup.
- Keep the receipt! From kitchen to medical office, the receipt is your proof. In case you ever need it as evidence, you’ve got it right where you left it.
Remember, a quick trip to the doctor isn’t just for healing—it’s a safeguard for your future peace of mind.
3. Lodge a Police Report
Why Filing a Police Report Matters (Even if You Don’t Want a Trial)
Think of a police report like a safety net that keeps you covered no matter what you decide to do next. Even if you’re not planning to take the case to court, the report is a handy piece of evidence that can come in clutch when you closest for legal protection.
Step 1: Find Your Local Police Counter
- Stop by any police station or neighborhood post—there’s no special elite desk, just the guys who keep the street safe.
- Speak with the officer, tell them exactly what happened, and be sure they take notes.
Step 2: Keep a Copy (Because You Might Need It)
Ask for a photocopy or a scanned version. Keep the paper safe, like you’d keep a ticket after a fortuitous car wash. You’ll want to refer back to it later, and nothing says “I knew what I was dealing with” like a solid printed record.
Step 3: Gather All Proof (The Invisible, the Obvious, the Sneaky)
- Collect eyewitness statements—someone else’s memory can be a pillar that steadies your case.
- Secure texts, emails, or recordings that hint at less apparent forms of trouble—think emotional bullying or physical threats that may not have screamed out loud.
- Consider storing everything in a secure folder; even a simple cloud drive can help keep the files tidy.
Bottom line? A police report is a solid way to keep your options open and fortify your legal footing, no matter how the situation pans out.
4. Seek Counsellors or Other Forms of Support
Need a Talk? Let’s Find the Right Voice!
If you’re searching for a friendly ear and practical help, a counsellor can be your go‑to. They’re not just listening—they’re trained to guide you through tough spots and even help someone who’s been aggressive to realize they’re wrong and work toward real change.
Here’s a quick cheat‑sheet of places you can reach out to:
- AWARE – Helpline: 1800‑777‑5555 (Mon–Fri, 3 pm–9.30 pm)
- Family Service Centres (FSCs) – 47 locations across Singapore. Call ComCare at 1800‑222‑0000 to find the nearest one.
These FSCs specialise in counselling when family violence is involved:
- PAVE – 6555 0390
- TRANS Centre (SAFE Centre – Stop Abuse in Families) – 6449 9088
- Care Corner Project StART – 6476 1482
Got a problem—or just feeling a bit stuck? Call one of these numbers, and you’ll be connected to experts ready to listen, advise, and help you step forward with confidence.
5. Stay in a Crisis Shelter
When Life Throws a Curveball, Pinch a Crisis Shelter
Picture this: you’re stuck, no phone friend, no quick escape. That’s when a crisis shelter steps in as your last‑ditch lifeboat.
Who Can Get You In?
- Police Officers – If you’re in a bind, the cops can sign you up.
- Family Service Centers & Hospital Social Workers – These pros know the ropes and can refer you right away.
Just a Short Stay—No Dragging Around
Hold tight, but not forever. Crisis shelters are for quick relief only: you can stay up to three months before you have to find another home base.
So when the world feels like a maze, remember—your friendly neighborhood shelter is ready with a warm blanket, a listening ear, and a bit of humor to lift your spirits.
6. Apply for a Personal Protection Order
Protection Order: Your Quick‑Fire Shield Against Family Violence in Singapore
Got a drama‑queen in the house? Wanna sleep like a rock? A Protection Order (PPO) is the legal way to put a serious “nope” to family violence. Below you’ll find out who can grab this handy tool and how to make it happen.
Who’s Eligible to Pull the Trigger?
- Spouse or ex‑spouse – your closest partner in crime (or rather, in peace).
- Children – whether you’ve adopted or stepped into their life, they’re covered.
- Parents, in‑laws, or siblings of the offender – because family drama can ripple.
- Other relatives or anyone deemed caring‑inadequate – the court can look after folks who can’t look after themselves.
How to Get One in Singapore
In the comfortable confines of the Family Court, you can file for a PPO in person, or let a friendly Family Lawyer handle the paperwork so you’re not the only one doing the heavy lifting.
Note: If you’re in a non‑marital relationship that’s been ruffling feathers, a PPO won’t be on the menu. But that shouldn’t stop you from seeking the support you need.
If Your Life is on the Line…
Don’t play “second‑hand” with danger. Dial 999 immediately for police assistance.
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We first dove into this topic on TheAsianparent. Stay safe, stay wise, and push for peace.
