When Ads Go Too Far: A Stillborn Mom’s Story
Gillian Brockell, a well‑known journalist for the The Washington Post, found herself at the center of a modern‑day nightmare: targeted social‑media ads that turned her grief into a commercial buffet.
The Tale of a Tragedy and a Tweet
Last month, after a heartbreaking loss, Gillian spilled the truth online. In a single, raw tweet she said: “I know you knew I was pregnant…I just couldn’t resist those Instagram hashtags — #30weekspregnant, #babybump. And, oh boy, I even clicked on a maternity ad or two.” The message was a slam‑down magazine Q&A wrapped in a personal plea.
But there was more. Gillian clicked through words that might sound like a mother at sea: “braxton hicks vs. pre‑term labour,” “baby not moving.” Then—after three days she’d gone silent on all feeds—she hit the “Announcement” button with agonizing tags like “heartbroken,” “problem,” and “stillborn,” coupled with a gouging stream of emoticons that looked like 200 teardrops.
Facebook Responds, Tiny Comfort
Rob Goldman, Facebook’s VP of advertising, apologized, promising a setting to block “painful” topics. “It needs improvement, but we’re getting better here,” he wrote. Gillian agreed: “I know such a setting exists. I just couldn’t find it because I was grieving.”
Her real complaint? That social media companies act like digital Cupid—launching an ad stream of motherhood content as soon as you say “pregnant” in your profile or search. She didn’t ask to see these ads; they arrived on autopilot.
And That’s When the Rocket‑Launch Goes Wrong
When she finally blocked baby‑related ads, a new wave popped up: “Thinking about adopting?” The irony? Even after a heartbreaking loss, the feed says, “Look how to fill that empty spot.”
What’s Next? Two Simple Requests
- Automatically turn off ads after you’ve signaled a heartbreak—like a digital “do not disturb” mode for grieving.
- Ask for your feedback no matter what: “Did you feel pressured by these ads?” That’s a conversation, not data mining.
Gillian’s letter is a brutal, but honest, call for empathy—so brands don’t turn people’s loss into profitable content. In the words of a journalist who wasn’t just reporting the news but living it, this fight isn’t about ads. It’s about respect for the human in the machine.
