Surviving Your Birthday in 2020: The Rough Reality
All over the buzz of the web, you’ll spill over into a sea of cheery, chirpy birthday guides—vividly colorful, over‑the‑top lists that promise a celebration that feels like an instant party, even if you’re stuck at home with your pet terrapin, a mouthful of potato chips, and a half‑curtained window where your neighbor’s yoga routine flashes by.
The Reality Check
These bright‑colored “tips” might indent you in a way that feels like a blast: buy yourself a bouquet (though you might as well buy more chips with that $58), bake a batch of muffins (and maybe try to figure out whether due dates are odd or even at your local shop), splash in a lively bubble bath (even when you’re confined to a tiny washroom), or remind yourself of last year’s birthday (a classic “cheery, chirpy” move).
A Brutal Truth
It’s a hard fact that being a Taurus or Gemini in 2020 wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows—it simply meant you had to celebrate your day under COVID‑19 restrictions. The world was a bit less festive, and your party was all you, your terrapin, and those endless chips.
Why It Felt Like That
- Horrible timing with lockdowns and social distancing.
- Missing the hustle of a real party—no cake, no friends, no neon lights.
- Staying inside meant energy drains and a feeling of confinement.
- Eating chips all day was a trusty but not exactly chic alternative.
Meanwhile, please keep doing your best: stay home, grab a mask when you must step out, and keep the distance. If the stars after Gemini (like Virgo, Libra, etc.) know this lesson, we’re not alone on this ride.
When this is all over, then we celebrate
When Your Friends Pick the “CB Time” Excuse
Why the “CB Time” is a Popular Sneak‑Past
Got a reputation for being the quiet one at family gatherings? That’s golden. CB Time (short for “Can’t Be Busy”) gives friends and relatives a perfect cover to ghost you or push back plans. They’ll forgo listing a casual meetup, claiming they’re swamped. Your mom, the “I’ll RSVP” legend, might offer to invite you to a meal but “don’t know when we can meet leh”, or your buddy might say, “I was going to get you a cake but gahmen say cannot buy cakes that time, sorry.”
The Classic CBB (Cannot Be Bothered) Phrases
- “I owe you a meal but don’t know when we can meet leh.”
- “I was going to get you a cake but the store is closed, sorry.”
- “We’re all so busy; let’s do it next month.”
- “I’ll loop in later when everything clears up.”
- “Can’t make it – the calendar is tight.”
How to Respond with a Dash of Humor
When the “CB” mood hits, you could reply with:
- “Sure, let me know when the universe aligns.”
- “Got it. I’ll pop up when you’re not a brain‑cell-chaser.”
- “If your schedule’s a maze, I’ll bring the map.”
- “Staying on standby, ready to unzip that busy‑time code.”
Just remember, the “CB” excuse is actually a polite way of saying “Thanks for the thought, but I’m swamped.” It’s a gentle nudge to keep the bond alive without forcing a hard meeting.
Zoom celebrations are just not the same
Zoom Birthday Bash: A Modern Celebration
How It All Starts
- First, grab your favorite slice of cake—everyone orders it online so you’re all set to celebrate.
- When the clock hits the same minute for everyone, we all zoom in and get ready to party.
- We then launch into a chorus of “Happy Birthday”—honestly, the off‑key version wins the crowd.
- And then the real magic: each of us digs into our slice, doing the classic “bite‑and‑chew” performance that guarantees laughs.
- Finally, we keep the energy alive with shared jokes, silly backgrounds, and maybe a virtual toast.
The Real Challenge
Once you’ve mastered this for yourself, it becomes clear that you’ll need to repeat the whole routine for every friend and family member—whether they’re Taurus, Gemini, or just the one cousin who keeps checking the time. It’s humor, heart, and a little bit of chaos all rolled into one endless Zoom party schedule.
Gifts are slow in coming
When Global Supply Chains Go to the Future
Picture this: you’re excited, pockets full of coins, and you decide to treat yourself by buying a hand‑crafted passport holder from a tiny village halfway across the planet. You click “buy”, and your excitement fizzles as you learn that, thanks to the new lockdowns, the package will arrive in 1,593 years.
The Irony of a Modern-Day ‘Travel’ Gift
- What’s inside the bag? A passport holder stitched from petals of the mirabilis jalapa flower—beauty, you say.
- What you really want? Unlimited GrabFood vouchers because who needs travel when you can dine in 24/7?
The Real Verdict
Artistic flair is great, but when the world is stuck in lockdown and your delivery is stuck in a time warp, you’re better off swapping that fragile flower‑petal keepsake for something that actually delivers joy straight to your doorstep.
Bottom line: Order a snack plan, not a passport.
You can’t have your annual birthday vacation
Just One More Stop, and Your Wanderlust List Is Done
Remember that one elusive destination you had on the very top of your bucket list? Well, it’s finally within reach – if only you can navigate that wobbly train line between Serangoon and Sembawang without a hitch.
Why the Grind Is Worth It
- Metin’s iconic café backdrops – 100% Instagram‑worthy.
- The chance to run into your girlfriend on a less‑traveled platform; serendipity, people!
- New evidence that half‑gone trips often turn into the best memories.
Turning ‘Virtual Tours’ Into Real‑Life Adventures
“Virtual tours” is just a fancy 2020 buzzword that tech geeks love. But here’s the trick: replace the screen with the actual street. Your eyes, ears, and that spontaneous squeak of stepping on loose cobblestones should replace any digital mock‑up.
Lifting Your Spirits – One Step at a Time
Imagine the actual scent of wet pavement after rain, the chatter of commuters, and the warm glow of a ticket machine turning your old ticket into brand new memories. Trust me, it’s better than watching a documentary about cityscapes.
Let them eat cake… if you can find one
Birthday Cakes in the Time of Cake Shop Restrictions
Remember when cake shops had to shut their doors because of some old-school prohibition? Back then, Marie‑Antoinette’s famous line—“It was a cake for one”—started to echo around every forgotten kitchen.
What It Really Felt Like
Picture this: you’re born on a day that coincides with the nationwide cookie curfew, and the only cake you’re allowed to have is the one baked at home or sneaked in from a neighbor’s stash.
- Finding a slice became an epic hunt.
- What people bought as “cakes” were often hand‑made masterpieces, not shop‑sold pastries.
- And the sweet reward of blowing out candles felt like a tiny victory rather than a simple treat.
Today’s Takeaway
So next time you stroll past a bakery, give a nod to those who had to make their celebrations a bit more lewd—no, more ingenious—and remember that good cakes are still worth the effort, even if the shops are closed!
Neh mind, I bake my own cake
Missing Baking Gear: The Great Singapore Bake Off
Have you noticed the barren baking sections in supermarkets lately? It feels like the Great Singapore Sale has slipped away, leaving only the Great Singapore Bake Off humming in its wake.
Empty Shelves, Full of Desire
Imagine walking in want fresh canning jars, cake pans, and just‑right‑sized pots—all to find nothing but wide-open space and a whisper of hope. What’s panicking the baking crowd? The shelves that once gleamed with ribbons of joy are now just simmering emptiness.
Why It Matters
- Missing essentials—Everything from vanilla to cupcake liners.
- Lost inspiration—You can’t dream of icing designs when the ingredients themselves are absent.
- High expectations, low supply—The thrill of a sale is gone, and only the “bake off” buzz remains.
Baking for Yourself—and Why It’s a Bit Stupid
Think about posting a birthday cake you’ve baked just for you. Looks a lot like that costly chore of frying your own dough fritters at a famed hawker stall: pointless, sad, and the final piece? Pretty much inedible. The whole exercise is a bit like making a masterpiece but only seeing the outline.
Takeaway
In short, the lack of baking supplies is setting up a culinary conundrum. Your culinary dreams get stuck in a waiting room while you hope for the shelves to resurface. Until then, the Great Singapore Bake Off lives in the imagination of those craving sweet triumph.
This article first appeared on Wonderwall.sg.
