How to Be the “Life Gatekeeper” for Your Friends
Picture this: you’re chatting with a buddy, and suddenly they start drifting off or pulling away. Or maybe they say something spacey like “I wish I didn’t have to live here.” Ever wondered what to do when a friend’s mood turns a little wild?
Step One – Spot the Signals
- Sudden Mood Swings – the lights are all over the sky.
- Withdrawal – NO more late‑night texts or playlist sharing.
- Talk of Ending It All – “I can’t do this anymore.”
- Major Life Shake‑Ups – job loss, breakup, or those “just an itch” type of stress.
Step Two – Where Does Your Role Fit In?
Think of yourself as a “gatekeeper.” It’s not a fancy title, just a front line in spotting danger and pointing your peer toward the right help.
The Character and Leadership Academy (CLA) has launched the Gatekeeping Lives Movement – an Aussie‑style “stay‑on‑track” program that trains teens and young adults (16–25) to become everyday lifeguards.
Why is this cool?
- It lets you recognise signs of stress, anxiety, and suicidal thinking.
- It gives you a simple 3‑step action plan: Question, Persuade, Refer (QPR).
- It keeps your classmates and friends safer than a ring of life‑jacker safety scrolls.
The QPR Playbook in Action
Grab the umbrella for each step:
- Question – “Hey, how’s everything going? Is something bothering you?”
- Persuade – “I’d love to help, but I’m not a mental‑health pro. Talking might lighten the load.”
- Refer – “Let’s find a counsellor or call 24‑hr help. You do not have to face this alone.”
It’s like a catch‑phrase you can share with friends: “Lay low. I’m here. Let’s find help.”
Why Get Youth Involved?
Delane Lim, the CLA Executive Director, says that the whole idea sprouted from parents sounding out their worries in morning coffees. The board realized that every teen could act as a “gatekeeper” for themselves and their peers.
They don’t pick the best people – they welcome anyone who wants to keep a look‑out eye for everyone: from family and classmates to neighbours. The motto? “You’re a life gatekeeper if you’re ready to look out for yourself and others.”
What’s the Vision?
- Reduce suicidal behaviours globally.
- Promote mental-health awareness among ASEAN youth and in Singapore.
- Deliver innovative, practical, and proven prevention training.
Take Action Now!
First step? Take a short online QPR module (they’re easy!). Next, practice the questions on a friend (maybe the one you’re texting “Did you get that new meme?”). Finally, keep the door open if they need professional help.
Remember: Anyone can bite off the life‑saving role – all you need is a willingness to lend a listening ear and a heart that cares. Let’s all become the safety nets for one another.
The World Is In A Zone‑of‑Chaos, But Smack‑On‑The‑Horizon Education Is the Ray of Hope
We’re all seeing the red flags of a crisis flashing everywhere – distrust, uncertainty, that feeling that the world’s in a storm. But right now, people are shouting that quality education is the golden ticket out of the mess. No matter where you come from, a solid schooling gives you the tools to lift someone else’s life.
Hands‑On Learning: The Playground Is Your Classroom
- Role‑playing scenarios? Put your shoes in someone else’s and feel the grit.
- Experiential learning? Pick your own real‑world adventure – no screen, just sweat and smiles.
- Adventure‑based therapy? Hang always on the edge, but leave the duel on the safe rope.
The whole point? These treasures are best served offline. Even the best Zoom‑behind‑the‑screen is just a window into a richer story that you can’t submit as a PDF.
Gatekeepers, Baby, the Lecture 2022
Back in September, the launch ceremony handed out certificate swag to the first 50 Gatekeepers. And among those 50, there’s a woman of fire: Nguyen Thao Nhi, 24, base‑camp in the land of fish tails, now a Singaporean adventurer.
She earned a A*Star scholarship 10 years ago, but the streak of fame didn’t square the bubble.
“I was a freaky, distracted student” – Thao Nhi’s truth
“The first handful of years felt like a mad dis’ of stress; I was thrown to a new competitive jungle, and my real self got tangled in the vines.”
Her phone calls were full of arguments – she was literally missing the family vibe. When she moved to secondary and Junior Colleges, the combo of teachers, family, friends were a solid support band helped her get the groove back.
Thao Nhi’s Mission to Spread the Support Vibes
Picture a bright, sunny day—and in that sunshine, Thao Nhi is out there, hunting for fresh ways to give back to her friends.
What’s on Thao’s Brain
- Team‑up ideas – “Why not create a buddy‑buddy system where we keep cheering each other on?”
- Resource sharing – “There’s a trove of guides and tools I can spot‑up and hand out.”
- Brain‑storming sessions – “Let’s grab coffee, toss around ideas, and see what sticks.”
How Thao Works It Out
- Grab a mind map and jot down everything that sparks her interest.
- Send out a quick survey asking folks what support they’d dig.
- Pick the top three concepts and pilot them on a small scale.
Feeling the Heat
She’s not just flipping through fancy charts—she’s actually stepping into the trenches, seeing the real needs and then tailoring solutions. That “real‑world‑touch” is what makes her support feel genuine, like a warm hug rather than a cold tip‑off.
Takeaway for All of Us
Thao’s story reminds us that the best help is the kind we carry out of heart. So the next time you spot someone needing a hand, grab that spark—think up a quick plan, offer it, and watch the magic unfold.
What made you decide to undergo the QPR Gatekeeper training?
Helping a Friend Out of the Dark
I’ve been keeping an eye on CLA’s events for a while now—always intrigued by what they’re cooking up. One day, a junior colleague of mine opened up and told me he was stuck in a slump: no motivation, feeling down, and ready to quit. You can guess I dove right in.
What I Did (A Rough Sketch)
- Spent hours chatty‑talking: Nothing beats a good old conversation to hear what’s really bothering someone.
- Offered practical nudges: Simple actions like setting small goals or sharing inspirational stories helped lift the weight.
- Escalated where needed: When the gloom persisted, I suggested professional support—treating everyone like a gatekeeper who can direct them to the right help.
Through that experience I realized that real‑life worries demand real‑life help. That’s why we need folks who’re no just enthusiastic speakers but true gatekeepers—ready to guide people back to the light.
The last few years of Covid-19 restrictions must have been especially tough on Gen Z. Can you share more about how missing certain milestones affected you and your peers?
Covid and Our Singapore Youth Community
For me, the pandemic was more of a weekend hang‑out than a full‑time lockdown. Living in Singapore and being tight‑knit with the Vietnamese youth crew gave me a safety net. Even when the whole city‑state was “stuck” inside, we stayed strong together. I still had pals to vent to and share memes with.
The Harder Slice of the Pizza
Not everyone had a smooth ride:
- Those who fell ill—or had their student pass cancelled—were stuck in a crucible of stress.
- Families back in Vietnam faced losses or crises. With travel restrictions in place, they couldn’t fly home, amplifying the emotional toll.
Snags and Stigma
Two extra hurdles kept rolling in:
- There was a spike in xenophobia against Vietnamese after the KTV incident.
- When we tried to return to Vietnam, some locals were wary, fearing we’d “import” the virus. Feeling like we were rejected by our home country hit many of us right in the feels.
Overall, the pandemic turned our community into a tight‑knot support system, but it also highlighted the struggles many of us faced. And yes, being left out by those who should have welcomed you? That sting of rejection really weighed on us scholars.
Tell us what it was like to undergo the Gatekeeper training. Were there any misconceptions you had about mental health prior to the training, and what did you learn in the process?
Getting Inside the Training Vibe
Picture this: you’re standing in the middle of a classroom, all hands ready to roll, and the instructor drops a surprise role‑play. I didn’t just shake my hands; I practically danced through it—every conversation felt like a mini adventure that left me buzzing with a sense of purpose.
Why Role‑Play is the Life of the Party
- Skill Practice – Every time I swapped a role, I sharpened my ability to listen, respond, and stay calm under pressure.
- Helping Others – There’s nothing like the joy of nudging someone toward a safer path; it’s like high‑fives for the soul.
- Feeling Fulfilled – I came out of that session with a warm, triumphant buzz that only “helping someone heal” can give.
The Big Oops Moment
At first, I was a bit wary about “asking someone if they’re thinking about suicide.” The usual fear? That it might be intrusive or even illegal. However, after the QPR module, I realized that pushing gently for a candid answer is not just okay—it’s essential.
In short, after you’ve got the training, don’t shy away from that hard question. It might be the bridge someone needs to cross toward a brighter future.
What is the most important thing you’ve learnt about being there for someone who is struggling with their mental health?
Hidden Struggles Unmasked
Ever met someone who looks like they’re walking on sunshine, yet something’s brewing under the surface? That’s the real trick: mental health issues can be a classic face‑plant mask.
Spot the Silent Signals
- Sudden Vibe Change: One day they’re upbeat, next they’re just… quiet.
- Perennial Yep‑Yays: Every answer is “Yes!” no matter the question—could be a comfortable lie.
- Mood Rollercoaster: They ride quickly from bliss to blue in a matter of minutes.
- Excuses for Silence: “I’ve got to do my own thing” goes the default response.
- “It’s Ok” Repeat Cycle: Repeating “I’m fine” while clearly not.
Why You Can’t Just Judge
Remember, mental health isn’t a scarlet letter of laziness or character flaw. It’s a daily battle nobody can see from the outside. They’re not choosing to be gloomy; they’re fighting invisible armies.
One Helping Hand = A Whole Army
Here’s the golden rule: a sincere offer of support can turn a brooding storm into a sunny day. Whether it’s a listening ear, a gentle chat, or a quick coffee meet‑up—show up, and ask the question: “How are you really doing?” It’s the simple, caring touch that can change a life.
SINGAPORE HELPLINES
Helping‑Hand Guide: Singapore’s Mental Health Hotlines
Ever felt like your day is a maze? You’re not alone! Singapore offers a bunch of lifelines that can help you keep your head on straight. Below is a handy list of contact numbers, each ready to lift you up whenever you need a friendly ear.
1⃣ Samaritans of Singapore
Dial 1800‑221‑4444 or SMS “1” to your local number (or 1800‑644‑8500 for those who prefer texting). They’re open 7 days a week, and you can chat in any language you feel comfortable with.
2⃣ Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH)
Give them a ring at 1800‑283‑7019. Whether it’s a quick question or a deep dive conversation, they’re ready to listen.
3⃣ Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin)
Prefer Mandarin? No problem – just call 1800‑353‑5800. Their counsellors are quick to reply and friendly to talk to.
4⃣ Institute of Mental Health (IMH) Helpline
Actually, the IMH doesn’t have a dedicated “mental health helpline”, but for urgent psychiatric support you can reach 6389‑2222 – that’s the IMH’s emergency line.
5⃣ Silver Ribbon
For more specific needs like bereavement, just fire up 6386‑1928. Trust us, they’re the cool, experienced crew who know what to do.
Quick‑Start Checklist
- Need a friendly chat? Call Samaritans or SAMH.
- Prefer Mandarin? Hit up Care Corner.
- Risk of panic or medical crisis? Emergency line: 6389‑2222.
- Heart‑heavy issue? Silver Ribbon’s got your back.
Pro‑Tip: Keep these numbers in your phone’s quick‑dial list – just in case you need a moment’s help. Knowing you can call – and that someone will pick up – makes it way easier to ask for help or simply vent out.
And remember: You’re not in this alone. These hotlines are ready to help, whether you’re a quick text, a quick call, or a longer talk. Reach out – you deserve support!
