Healing From Sexual Harassment or Assault: Practical Steps to Overcome Trauma – Lifestyle News

Healing From Sexual Harassment or Assault: Practical Steps to Overcome Trauma – Lifestyle News

Sexual Assault Numbers in Singapore: An Eye‑Opening Snapshot

Between 2017 and 2019, the Ministry of Home Affairs counted 6,988 reports of sexual assault in Singapore. That tally includes everything from rape and penetration to outrageous situations affecting minors and vulnerable people.

What’s worrying is the upward trend: from 2017 to 2020, AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) recorded 515, 808, 777, and 967 new cases each year, according to Shailey Hingorani, AWARE’s Head of Research and Advocacy.

Yet, SACC reveals that roughly seven out of ten victims choose silence over filing a police report. That means the true scale of sexual violence in Singapore remains hidden, a grim reminder that under‑reporting is the rule, not the exception.

Political Drama Shines a Light on a Dark Issue

  • In early November, Workers’ Party MP Raeesah Khan admitted lying in Parliament about a rape support group anecdote.
  • During an August debate on women empowerment, she bragged (in error) that she’d helped a 25‑year‑old rape victim file a police report 3 years ago, only to be met with flippant remarks from the officer.
  • On November 1 she retracted the story and apologized to the police.
  • She said the story was invented because she wasn’t brave enough to admit she’d been part of a support group herself, having survived a traumatic assault at 18.

She was subsequently hauled before the Committee of Privileges, where the MPs were stern in calling her “a great disservice to survivors.” The Leader of the House, Indranee Rajah, slammed the fabricated allegations as a betrayal of trust.

AWARE’s Take

While AWARE acknowledged Raeesah’s original intentions were likely good, the organization expressed disappointment over the false narrative. She resigned from the Workers’ Party on November 30, but the Committee will keep investigating.

What This All Means

Even though the story was fabricated, the spotlight it brought onto sexual harassment and assault cannot be ignored. It’s a wake‑up call for Singapore: discussion, education, and policy reforms are desperately needed. Let’s keep the conversation going—because silence, in the face of abuse, is a silent partner, and partners are hard to break.

Sexual harassment/assault is underreported

One‑Two, Three: Sexual Harassment Numbers That Won’t Make You Tick‑Tock

Hot Off the Her World “What Women Want 2021” Press

Turn up the volume: in a recent survey, 15% of respondents reported being personally harassed at work, while 14% claimed they’d seen it happen to a colleague. Even more shocking is that 27% of people chose not to report the incidents. That’s like saying you’ve boogied with a magic eight‑ball—spoiler: no one can tell you if you’re lucky or unlucky!

Why Are These Stories Going Unheard?

When it comes to Singapore’s “silent” circle of sexual harassment, Aware’s own research champion, Shailey Hingorani, breaks it down into a few classic excuses—though they’re not excuses, just barriers.

  • Fear of Reprisal. You’re worried the boss might give you a look that says, “You’re not welcome in the office.”
  • “My Voice Won’t Matter.” The feeling that complaining is just a waste of time—like sending a text to someone who never replies.
  • Cultural Nonsense. The idea that “we can’t handle it” or “it’s hard to talk about it” crops up like a surprise pop quiz.
  • Legal Pathways Look Dark. Fear that the legal route could be a maze of red tape.
  • Quack Support. Misleading or “inadequate” support systems that leave you feeling more lost than you did at that point in the night.
Bottom Line: Speak Up, Stay Safe, and Remember—You’re Not a Silent Observer!

Fear of not being believed or not having enough evidence

Why Some Survivors Stay Silent

TL;DR: Survivors often keep quiet because of the “back‑handed warnings” they receive from almost everyone they know—friends, family, the police, and even strangers on the internet. Those whispers of doubt and blame build up like a stuffy sauna, making it hard to take that courageous step to report.

  • Friends & Family: “Are you sure this happened? Maybe you’re just overreacting.”
  • Official Personnel: “You’re acting like something’s wrong; there’s nothing here.”
  • Crypto‑Commenters Online: “That’s a rumor, it’s probably not real.”

When every voice around you turns into a skeptical jury, the fear of being blamed or dismissed outweighs the urge to speak out. In short, doubt breeds silence.

Practical barriers to reporting

Why Survivors Are Wiggling Their Feet at the Legal Maze

Picture this: a bunch of folks who’ve just survived a rough ordeal looking at a legal document that looks more like a secret recipe than a contract. Their nerves start fluttering because:

  • It’s so complicated that even the most patient cat would lose sleep.
  • It’s so lengthy it feels like a marathon run.
  • And the outcome? That’s like guessing the next season’s plot twists—utterly uncertain.

In short, the mere thought of wrestling with red tape can launch a frenetic anxiety-fueled heart race. They’re not just apprehensive; they’re on edge, hoping to dodge the dreaded courtroom showdown.

The perpetrator is someone close

When the Miscreant Is a Familiar Face

When the abuser is someone you actually know—like a spouse or a relative you’re financially tied to—people often find it hard to chip in with a report. It’s the human equivalent of “sorry, we’re on the same team!” And yet, even though it feels like a silent dilemma, many still worry about the perpetrator’s future, their family, and even what’s on the work grid.

Why the silence sticks

  • Money matters: “What if we lose our nest?”
  • Protecting the little ones: “Will my kids get in the crossfire?”
  • Job security fears: “If they’re the boss, what do we do if the company turns down on us?”

So, while the law wants everyone on board with forwarding evidence, the emotional tug‑of‑war with family ties can feel like a battle of “do I squeal or do I hold it?” – a messy mix of love, loyalty, and self‑preservation.

Fear of triggering the trauma

When Talking About Trauma Turns into a Drama

Picture this: you’re telling strangers about something that’s still stuck in the back of your mind. If you keep doing it—like a bad song on repeat—you might trigger another wave of shock. And if the listener sounds like they’ve come straight from the “Do not touch” side of a barista, you’re not just adding offense; you’re creating a real mess for the survivor.

What the Government Has Been Doing

  • Released the OneSafe Centre—a place where survivors can drop anchors, not just to talk but to heal.
  • Upgraded police training so when a survivor steps in, reporters and officers try to be as gentle as a cat brushing against your shoulders.
  • Rugged the reporting process so it doesn’t feel like an eight‑hour marathon through a thriller plot.

Still Needs a Make‑Over

Yes, the system is progress‑minded, but we’re still not hitting the mark. Anyone who’s spent time in court knows there’s room to make the justice path more survivor‑friendly. Here’s the plan:

  1. Specialised courts—imagine a fast‑track lane that’s actually inclined toward healing not humiliation.
  2. Judges that know how to handle trauma the way a good therapist treats grief.
  3. Greater communication—survivors shouldn’t feel like they’re left in a waiting room at a dentist’s office.

Think of it as adding a dash of empathy to a legal stew. If we’re all hoping the system becomes a little more friendly, a little more supportive, a touch less rocky, maybe we can stop turning trauma into an unavoidable sequel.

Keep Learning, Keep Adapting

And if you saved this piece, let’s learn it…—and keep the conversation alive. Because the goal?  Survivors aren’t just treating the sickness; they’re mastering the story and sharing it on their own terms.

The individual experience of sexual harassment/assault

How Survivors Handle Trauma from Sexual Harassment and Assault

When it comes to dealing with the aftermath of sexual violence, every person’s journey is as unique as their fingerprint. That’s what Shailey, a seasoned counselor at the Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC), says. “There’s no one-size-fits-all reaction,” she says with a weary smile.

What They’re Really Feeling

  • Anger, hurt, and fear – Some survivors shout it out loudly, while others keep it all bottled up.
  • Long‑term bugs that creep in: nightmares, flashbacks, ruthless anxiety, depression, numbness, and even denial.
  • Short‑term rushes: feeling like you’ve been hit by a sudden thunderstorm of emotions.

The Brain’s “Instincts” Over the “Better Decisions”

Ever felt your body freeze in the middle of a conversation? That’s a “freeze” response – a get‑out‑of‑danger routine that’s automatic, not a conscious choice. Other instinctive reactions include:

  • Fight or flight – Either you clap your hands or run away.
  • Freeze – Temporary paralysis.
  • Fawn – Trying to please the attacker.

In short, trauma can hijack your thinking in ways that feel downright bizarre. That’s why Shailey believes speaking up may help survivors get on the road to recovery – but only if they want to do it.

How to Move Forward Safely

First and foremost: ownes the survivor’s own well‑being. Shailey says,

“She should prioritise her physical and emotional well-being and do what she needs to do for her recovery.”

And here’s a real‑talk rule for your squad of friends, family, or coworkers:

  • Don’t shove a survivor into filing a police report or opening up that painful thread of their story.
  • Just keep their dignity and privacy front and center.

Finding the Right Therapy

Everyone’s deliciously different, so seeking out the therapy that fits your vibe is a must. SACC in Singapore offers a wide palette of support:

  • One‑on‑one counseling
  • Legal guidance
  • “Befriending” – escorting survivors to court or police stations
  • Helpline, WhatsApp, email, and drop‑in center options

If you’re dealing with sexual harassment, ring up SACC’s helpline on weekdays (10 am–6 pm), 6779 0282. They’ll help you map out possible next steps without pushing you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.

Alternative Paths to Healing

Besides traditional therapy, many survivors find solace in:

  • Art or music therapy
  • Mindfulness and meditation
  • Support groups and peer‑to‑peer counseling
  • Physical exercise or yoga to reclaim bodily control

Remember, the road to healing is a marathon, not a sprint. Keep the conversation alive, breathe deeply, and never tolerate that anyone pushes you to “get over it” before you’re ready. You’re in charge of your own story, and every step—no matter how small—can bring you closer to peace.

Alternative therapies to deal with sexual harassment/assault

Art therapy

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What it is

From Pain to Canvas: Turning Trauma into Therapy with Buvenasvari Pragasam

Meet Buvenasvari Pragasam, a survivor of sexual abuse who turned her scars into a colorful sanctuary. Now a registered art therapist, she runs her own practice, Solace Art Psychotherapy, where paint splatters meet healing.

The Magic of Art Therapy

  • It’s not just for artists: Anyone can mold a canvas or clay into words they can’t put into speech.
  • Safe space to talk: When boring talk becomes too heavy, a brushstroke says more.
  • Creativity as release: Whether it’s a doodle, a sculpture, or a watercolor storm, you get to own your emotions.

A Gentle Reminder from Buvenasvari

“If you ask a survivor to talk straight up about the horrors, you risk a wave of emotions that can drown them,” Buvenasvari says. “It’s like trying to pour a glass of water in a hurricane.”

Mind‑Body Connection

Her approach isn’t just “feel better”—there’s a science behind it. Trauma lives in the right brain and the body, acting like a protective shut‑off switch. Speaking words is a left‑brain activity and can be a bad match for those hard‑to‑access memories. On canvas, the brain can bypass that door and let feelings flow.

The Bottom Line

When words cease to make sense, art does. Naïve paint, fearless clay, and unfiltered imagination open doors that last‑minute confessions can’t. Buvenasvari’s practice shows that if you’re looking to heal, it might just be paint on your next therapy day!

How it works

Art Therapy: A Palette for Healing

Imagine a place where words aren’t the only way to talk through pain – a space where you can splash your feelings onto a canvas, and the colors do the heavy lifting. That’s what art therapy offers to survivors of sexual harassment and assault: a safe, non‑verbal playground for turning trauma into something tangible.

Why Art Therapy Grows on Resilience

Unlike speech or writing, the arts don’t demand a ready‑made storyline. Instead, you externalize the hurt:

  • Paint a scene that mirrors the emotional turbulence inside.
  • Shape clay or sculpt to hold the weight of tough memories.
  • Wander through images that let you process without words.

The best part? The process feels non‑intimidating. You’re the only person on the easel, and the therapist stands by as a gentle observer, not a judge.

Step into Your Healing Journey

Before you dive into therapy, check that the right match is waiting for you:

  • Ask for a quick, friendly chat to gauge comfort.
  • Look for a therapist who treats you with respect, not a “one‑size‑fits‑all” approach.
  • Share goals—do you want to express past emotions or simply find peace?

If the fit isn’t perfect, no worries. As the wise Buvenasvari reminds us, “If things don’t work out, it’s okay. Keep looking for a good fit.”

Conclusion: Paint Your Own Path

Art therapy provides survivors with a liberating platform: a canvas that say “I see you,” a drum that echoes your resilience, and a mind that finally has space to breathe. Find the right therapist, pick up a brush, and let your story unfold—one stroke at a time.

What to know before trying it

Finding the Right Art Therapist

First things first—make sure your new therapist is trauma‑informed. That means they’re trained to navigate the messy tangle of deep scars without turning the session into a circus.

Once you’ve done the vetting, slide into the studio with an open mind and maybe a dash of curiosity. Let the art flow, let emotions doodle, and keep the “trying” vibes humming.

Why the Healing Ride Feels Like a Wild Rollercoaster

Buvenasvari tells us that the healing path isn’t a leisurely stroll down a sunny lane. “It’s a wild, sometimes uncomfortable ride,” she says. “But if you stay strapped in and keep the hands‑up‑and‑go, you’ll dodge the surprises that might send you back to the start.”

“Buve’s Takeaway”

“You’ll stumble, you’ll roll, but a splash of courage and an open mind keep you moving forward,” she signs off.

Curious About Hypnotherapy?

Want to dip your toes into mind‑trick therapy? Check out this fresh angle on hypnotherapy that claims to tackle deep‑down fears—an exciting, albeit mysterious, twist that could spark your next big break.

EDMR Therapy

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What it is

EMDR Therapy – The Quick‑Fix for Emotional Pain

When Dr. Natalie Games, a veteran clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, talks about EMDR, she’s basically saying, “Listen up, this is the Swiss Army knife of therapy.”

What’s the Buzz About?

EMDR, short for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a psychotherapy technique that has been proven to help people wrestling with anxiety, PTSD, and a host of other emotional wrangles. Think of it as a targeted reset button for your brain.

Why It’s A Breakthrough

  • Fast Relief: In many cases, patients experience noticeable improvement after only a handful of sessions.
  • Lasting Impact: The benefits tend to stick around, not just a temporary band‑age.
  • Versatile: Works for a wide range of emotional issues, not just trauma.
Dr. Games’ Take

“People often wonder why EMDR is so effective,” she explains. “The trick is that it harnesses the brain’s natural healing process, turning painful memories into harmless stories that we can talk about without puking at the memories again.”

She also reminds us that while EMDR is powerful, the experience is unique for each person. Factors such as:

  • Prior trauma history
  • Current emotional state
  • Comfort level with eye movements

can influence how well the therapy works. In short, it’s a personal road trip – the destination may be the same, but the journey feels differently for everyone.

Bottom Line

In Dr. Games’ own words, EMDR isn’t just a therapy – it’s a breakthrough that can bring quick and enduring relief from emotional distress. The key? A tailored approach that respects your own story, and a willingness to let your brain do the heavy lifting.

How it works

Why EMDR Works (and why it’s not a boring lecture)

What’s the buzz about?

EMDR is basically your brain’s “reset button” that lets you revisit a painful memory without replaying the whole show every single time.

Getting Real: The Session Breakdown

During a typical session, the therapist nudges you with bilateral stimulation while you zero in on the heart of the trauma. Think of it as a guided meditation meets a friendly dance.

How the “two‑way” moves feel

  • Eye‑tracking: you follow the therapist’s fingers or a light bar from left to right.
  • Audio version: headphones play back‑and‑forth sounds that wiggle your ears.
  • Tactile: the therapist taps the back of your hands—or even uses a vibrating gadget—to give your body a gentle nudge.

Why It’s Not Just Talking Tom

Dr. Games puts it simply: “You don’t have to keep recounting your story over and over.” That’s the magic of EMDR. Instead of rewinding the tape, the therapy rewires the brain’s pathways.

Brain Wiring 101

Think of your brain like a spaghetti junction. EMT takes each strand and unfurls the knots, letting the thoughts and feelings connect correctly again.

Sexual Abuse & Assault – A Better Outlook

When someone has survived sexual abuse, EMDR can shift the equation:

  • You still know the event was bad (the record stays).
  • Those nasty emotions, sensations, and flashback thoughts? They don’t have the same punch anymore.

In short, you’re more likely to say, “That happened,” instead of “That’s still happening.”

In a Nutshell

EMDR turns mind‑tearing memories into manageable stories, letting you keep the facts but cut out the emotional excess. If your brain needs an update, this is the software you’re looking for.

What to know before trying it

EMDR & Complex Trauma: Pick the Right Therapist!

Thinking about trying Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) but wrestling with a history of complex trauma? Don’t jump in without a clear plan. Your therapist’s experience is the key ingredient.

Why Experience Matters

  • Depth of Knowledge: A seasoned EMDR pro knows how trauma can ripple through the mind—especially when life has thrown a full-on storm.
  • Tailored Techniques: Complex trauma isn’t one‑size‑fits‑all. A skilled therapist adapts, ensuring every session feels like a supportive chat rather than a lecture.
  • Safety First: With experience, the therapist can spot red flags before they flare up.

Preparation & Stabilisation: The “Pre‑Game” Checklist

  • Set the Stage: Before diving into memory work, your therapist will walk through a pre‑session prep—think of it like tightening your laces before a marathon.
  • Build a Safe Base: Stabilisation techniques (deep breathing, grounding exercises, or even a comforting visualization) give you a resilient cushion against emotional turbulence.
  • Targeted Bag: A tidy “memory list” is prepared so the work stays focused, preventing the session from turning into a chaotic montage.

Choosing the Right Guide

Here’s the quick play‑by‑play:

  1. Ask for credentials – make sure the therapist has formal EMDR training and certifications.
  2. Check specialization – look for clinicians who’ve worked with complex trauma for a decent number of patients.
  3. Conduct a trial conversation – get the vibe. Do they discuss preparation and stabilisation? Listen for the terms they use—“steady foundation” rather than “just get through.”
  4. Read reviews – real feedback can reveal how the therapist handles the emotional intensity of a hard‑hit past.

In a Nutshell

EMDR is powerful, but the strength lies in partnering with a therapist who’s not just practiced the protocol, but has lived through and understood the complexities of trauma. Make sure they’re prepared to lay the groundwork, keep you steady, and guide you through the healing journey—so you can finish feeling vibrant and victorious rather than shattered.

Hypnotherapy

What it is

Mind‑Stretching Hypnosis: Turning Chill into Action

Picture this: you sit back, relax, and your mind suddenly zeroes in on a single point—like your brain’s eyes are on a bright star. That’s the sweet spot a therapist can create with hypnosis. By letting you slip into deep, easy‑going awareness, they can drop in tiny tweaks that help you change habits, mood, or outlook—all while you’re comfortably in the zone.

How It Works

  • Narrow Focus: Your attention becomes laser‑sharp, filtering out distractions.
  • Relaxed Yet Alert: You’re in a calm, receptive state, making the mind’s suggestions hit harder.
  • Behavior Boost: The guidance you receive leads to real‑world changes in how you think, feel, and act.

When clinical hypnosis pairs deep relaxation with targeted suggestions, the result is a natural, heightened state of consciousness that nudges you toward beneficial shifts in perception, attitude, and behavior. It’s like giving your brain a gentle nudge toward the better life it’s ready to build—one relaxed, focused breath at a time.

How it works

How Hypnotherapy Helps Heal Trauma – Insights from Grace Loh

Dr. Grace Loh, a seasoned psychotherapist, counsellor, and coach, gives us a clear picture of what hypnotherapy can do for those wrestling with trauma. She describes it as a gentle, non‑invasive tool that lets the mind calm down and reorganise itself – all while keeping the therapist’s support nearby.

Key Benefits of Hypnotherapy

  • Stabilises Overwhelming Emotions – Think of hypnotherapy as a soothing blanket that tames the storm inside your mind.
  • Strengthens the Ego – It acts like a personal trainer for your self‑confidence, building resilience step by step.
  • Challenges Negative Self‑Beliefs – By gently nudging your thoughts, it helps swap out negative narratives for healthier ones.
  • Reprocesses Traumatic Memories – It doesn’t force you to relive the past; instead, it lets you revisit memories in a controlled, calmer setting.
  • Boosts Self‑Esteem and Self‑Worth – Once the mind feels steadier, feelings of worth often follow, creating a positive feedback loop.

Pairing Hypnotherapy With Other Therapies

Grace emphasizes that hypnotherapy shines brightest when woven into a broader therapeutic tapestry. It can work beautifully alongside:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Targeting thoughts that shape behavior.
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – Helping regulate emotions and improve coping strategies.
  • Other modalities – From somatic experiencing to EMDR, hypnotherapy can complement many approaches.

Bottom Line

Think of hypnotherapy as a safe, soothing seat that lets you explore the darker corners of memory without a thunderstorm of intensity. With the right mix of techniques, it’s a powerful ally in restoring calm, confidence, and a new, kinder view of yourself.

What to know before trying it

Hypnotherapy: Not a Magic Potion, but a Pretty Cool Sidekick

When Grace talks about hypnotherapy, she’s quick to point out that it’s not a silver bullet for medical conditions. Think of it more like a trusty sidekick that helps you groove into better habits and heal at your own pace.

What It Really Does

  • Supports Self‑Improvement: Think of it as a coaching session that nudges you toward healthier behaviors.
  • Tricks Your Brain into Healing Mode: It encourages your mind to find calm when life throws its worst at you.
  • No “Fast‑Fix” Claims: There’s no instant cure here—hypnotherapy is a gradual, but effective, part of the healing journey.

Common Pitfalls and How to Dodge Them

Grace offers a quick cheat‑sheet:

  • Rapport matters: If you and your hypnotherapist fail to lock eyes, you’ll probably fail to lock mind‑states. A good vibe is a must.
  • Proper training ≠ certified whole‑shebang: Avoid those “jungle” hypnotherapists you’d find in folklore—they simply won’t respect the science.
  • Never force painful memories: It’s a big no‑no crime. Instead, the aim should be to teach you how to self‑soothe when triggers hit.

Heal, Not Re‑liquify

“Your inner healing hive should stay active, but never call the emergency squad unless absolutely necessary,” Grace notes. She stresses that building resilience can feel like training a puppy—sometimes you fall, sometimes you get rewarded. The goal, after all, is personal growth and happy outcomes.

Quick Refresher: EMDR and Tragic Losses

Curious how other therapies work? Check out how EMDR helped a grieving mother tackle her trauma. Trust us, it isn’t all gloom—though it tends to be rich in emotional texture.

So next time you’re looking at hypnotherapy, remember it’s a supportive, gradual ally—not a clinic’s medicine cabinet replacement. Let’s keep our brain respect intact, and keep the humor levels high.