When Your Boss Loves to Push You to the Edge
Picture this: you’ve been leading a crew that already hits every milestone, runs overtime like it’s a sport, and pushes hard enough to make sweat look like a paycheck. Then—bingo!—your former boss starts spamming everyone with the words, “Push ‘extremely hard’!” What’s the best way to shake the treadmill without tripping on your own career?
Why Lowering the Bar Isn’t the Same as Bailing Out
I had to put a stop sign on that unending push-button. My first move was a “reminder” tour of the team’s recent wins—because even if you are grinding, it helps to salute the wins before you ask, “How far can we go?”
Then I dropped the heart‑throb line: “Some boundaries are just that—you can’t cross them. I’ve lived through burnout, and I don’t want to see anyone—especially myself—go there again.”
The reply was a one-liner straight from a philosophy on resilience: “Oh, I’m just more resilient than all of you. I keep working.” It felt like a throwaway joke from a different planet.
What Happens When All They’re In a Different Universe?
- Stop Doing “I Will Do It Anyway” – it’s a sign that you’re covering for your own limits, not protecting the crew.
- Use “We” Instead of “I” – shift the narrative from a personal request to a collective decision.
- Balance the Hustle with the Human – remind the boss that mental bandwidth is a resource, not a consumable.
And here’s the kicker: the entire conversation happened on a phone call. No visual feedback; no facial expression. It turned out that the boss’s “resilience” comment was his way of saying, “I’m pushing you to see how much you can handle.”
How to Respond Without the Future‑Career Disaster
When the boss barrels on, keep it “low‑key” yet sincere:
- Show Gratitude – “Thanks for pushing us, it’s helped us aim higher.”
- Introduce the Boundary – “But I’ve set a personal limit because we value quality and sanity.”
- Offer a Plan – “Instead of raw hours, let’s look at smarter workflows.”
- Keep the Tone Light – sprinkle a bit of humor to lighten the density, e.g., “We’ve survived a circus; this isn’t a circus!”
Bottom line: you are not a solo performer. “I’m…a flexible machine!” is the boss’s mantra, but you’re not a machine that rolls over when the gears start screeching. Use the conversation to argue for a safe plateau in your trajectory.
TL;DR
When the boss keeps demanding more, remember: highlight wins, set personal boundaries, stay respectful, and keep the dialogue light. It’s the path to staying high‑performing without burning out.
Situation 1: How to make your colleague stop taking credit for your ideas
When Your Brainstorm Gets Stolen and Ignored…
Picture this: you’re in a meeting, you nail that brilliant idea, but the room falls silent. Someone smooth‑talks it over in different words, and you’re left wondering why it’s now their idea.
It’s Easy to Get Angry
It’s tempting to blame the idea‑stealing jock and the crew who ignored you. But anger doesn’t grow goosebumps; it squashes opportunity.
Two Ways to Turn That Frustration into Growth
1⃣ Turn the Mirror Over Yourself
If people aren’t listening, dig into what that says about your how you say it. Paranoid? Not really—just introspective. Think of how you’ve broken up with someone by saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” That humility and self‑check are essential.
- Did you frame the idea simply?
- Were you too soft or too hard?
- Did your words hit the mark or drift off track?
- Did the message feel tangled?
Use the experience to spot your communication gaps. Invest in yourself: find mentors who can give honest one‑sided feedback, binge on leadership podcasts, watch TED talks, skim best‑selling books, and practice making your voice audible. Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques from Stanford GSB and WorkLife with Adam Grant are great starting points.
2⃣ Record, Edit, Repurpose
Another hack I tried was stepping in front of a camera, tackling tough questions, and replaying the footage. It exposed the moments I veered off course, saw how I sucked in my audience with roundabout phrasing, and helped me tighten my body language—quiet confidence is contagious.
Shooting Down the Idea‑Stealer
Instead of simmering with anger, have a calm conversation. Don’t throw accusations; say you’ve noticed they sometimes ‘claim’ your concepts. Compliment that they think your ideas are stellar—then ask why the pattern repeats.
If they admit they were just amplifying your idea because it wasn’t heard the first time, suggest a different delivery. They could say, “Your suggestion to lower prices makes sense. I would add…” Let them reframe. If they keep undermining you, take it up with the boss—just keep it constructive.
Bottom Line
Dealing with anonymity and plagiarism is a chance to sharpen how you talk and step up your game. Turn the sting into lessons about messaging and authenticity, stay polite with the real world, but be ready to swap in a serious tone if needed.
Situation 2: Your boss keeps assuming that your job is “super easy” and keeps piling on additional work
Why Being a “Star” Employee Often Comes With a Lopsided Payoff
Ever feel like the more you shine, the heavier the spotlight gets? It’s a weird romance: you do great work, laugh it off, and suddenly your inbox is stuffed with extra tasks. That’s the career progression in disguise. Talent plus hustle = promotion, but it’s not always pretty.
Picture this: I was grinding every day, weekends included, thinking I’d finally hit the sweet spot. My former boss, however, looked at my editing job and went, “This is trivial—should be a quick swipe.” He was like a Michelin‑star chef who’s told a slow‑simmered dish has to finish in 30 minutes. It was 3‑hour war, not a breezy lunch.
When I finally voiced that I was burning the midnight oil, I misread the room. Saying “I’m working late” can sound like a sign of bad time management—or that I’m okay piling on work without boundaries. Most bosses don’t jump the “sympathy” card; it’s more about “solutions,” not excuses.
What I would do today (and you might too)
- Set clear boundaries—Weekly one‑on‑one: a quick sync to outline focus areas, client goals, and update on your warzone of tasks.
- Ask nicely when new assignments pop up—Say, “Sure, I can handle it, but I currently have ABC & XYZ on the plate. Which is higher priority and what’s the timeline? Let’s hit the right note.”
- Don’t just say “no”—Management looks for problem solvers, not dump‑sters. Show you’ve got a plan, even if it’s a tweak.
- Be a warrior, not a doormat—If overwhelmed, lay out a clean, logical workflow, stay calm, and ask for support. Don’t just bring a problem; bring a fixed.
- Keep realism in the mix—If the company is strapped for resources, pitching a new hire could be a yawning denial. Instead, look at how to maximize existing assets or redistribute workloads.
Bottom line: If there’s a will to get through it, there’s a way to do it—without actually burning out. And remember, being a star can be dazzling if you’re mindful of the cost.
