Why Being “Average” Is Not a Shortage But a Superpower
“Exceptionalism” has become the new buzzword. Every scroll of your feed is a reminder that the world needs heroes, super‑moms, rocket‑ship entrepreneurs, and celebrity influencers. In the age of Instagram, binge‑watching and the pandemic‑era “home‑hero” stories, average lives feel… well, a bit bland.
It’s a Culture of “Now or Never”
- Movies that slap on a cape and strike a pose dominate the box office.
- Social media feeds are full of “she nailed it” posts before you finish cooking your own dinner.
- Career goals often read like a checklist: “By 30, you’ve got this.”
And after the first decade, the headlines turn into “super‑mums” who “do it all.” Add in the lockdown era, and suddenly it’s “How I turned my couch into a Michelin‑star kitchen”, “From worker‑to‑charity‑hero”, and whatever hobby you find a way to monetize.
That’s Fine (but still a bit… over‑dramatic)
If you spent the pandemic binge‑watching, not learning a new skill, and living a “plain ordinary” reality, you’re definitely not a lost person. You’ve chosen a life that works for you – steady job, happy relationships, a decent paycheck. That’s not a crime at all.
Yet the constant buzz can make you feel like you need a viral moment to stay relevant. Let’s break that illusion.
How to Tell Women (and Men) It’s Okay to Be “Average”
1. Flip the Narrative – “Average” isn’t the same as “unremarkable.” It means just being if you do the things you love without pressure to triple‑double‑triple your hustle.
2. Share Real Stories – Highlight people who didn’t break the internet but still made a difference. A local doctor, a dedicated teacher, a supportive neighbor: all the unsung heroes.
3. Celebrate the Quiet Wins – Weddings that aren’t Instagram-worthy don’t mean they’re insignificant. A household that pays the rent on time and gives each other love is a win. #SmallWins
4. Break the Age Myth – At retirement, there’s no “final chapter.” There are new adventures, hobbies, or even late‑career pivots. “Average” can be re‑defined as “successfully navigating life’s stages, not all at once”.
5. Reframe “Exceptional” – Instead of “be incredible,” ask, “why not be content?” Being authentic and doing what feels right outranks everyone’s curated highlight reel.
The Bottom Line
In a world that’s full of loud, shiny standards, choosing a life that feels comfortable, supportive, and fulfilling is the ultimate super‑power. It means you’re not chasing a fantasy; you’re building a home, a community, and a lasting life that matters because it matters to you.
So next time you scroll past a super‑hero story, remember: the ordinary hero beside you is just as legit.
The percentage of extraordinary people in the world
Every Day, Most of Us are Just Average—and That’s Totally Fine
It’s a truth that gets tossed aside like yesterday’s leftovers: the real world is full of average folks. If everyone got to be extraordinary, “average” would be a fossil. But let’s face it—most of us are just right in the middle.
What the Numbers Say
Dr. Natalie Games, an upbeat clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, reminds us that the world is a big bell curve. Only a handful sit at the extremes—either super‑stars or hard‑to‑predict outliers. The rest? Mediocre medians.
“Just think of a bell curve for any metric: height, wealth, or even the number of coffee cups you drink. Everyone lands somewhere in the middle.” Dr. Games explains.
Workplace Realities
Even in the office, the same rule applies. BBC’s article featuring US psychologist Paul White echoes the same idea: if you’re spot‑checking a linear trend, the majority of employees hover in the average zone.
“Most people aren’t super‑done; that’s a good thing,” White says.
How Your Strengths Fit In
We all have moments where we shine or stumble. Yet, it’s rare to be top‑dog across every sphere.
- Likelihood of being all‑round exceptional is virtually zero.
- Accepting that you’re average in most areas is a relief.
- When you keep pushing for total awesomeness, you might bite off more than you can chew.
Staying Positive Even in the Mid‑Lane
Dr. Games wraps it up by saying, “Life’s not about being the best at everything. If you’re okay with being average—you’ve already won. Some folks turn that into an existential crisis, guessing, ‘What’s the point if I’m not extraordinary?’ But you know what? Being normal is just as heroic as being super‑heroine.”
The role of the media and social media
How Social Media Spins Our Reality
Picture this: you’re scrolling through a sea of perfectly staged snapshots, each one a little louder than the last. We all know the gimmick – the “aha!” moments that prompt people to show off the good bits of their lives, usually with a pinch of exaggeration. Yet, it’s easy to get swept up in the buzz and start thinking everyone else is living the dream: a top‑notch job, a blissful romance, a kitchen that could win awards, or a charity game that outshines ours.
Why the “Best‑ever” vibe feels so real
- Selective Highlighting – Only the glittery parts get posted.
- Need for Validation – A “like” is a quick dopamine hit.
- Echo Chamber Effect – If you see it a thousand times, you’ll start believing it.
The Daily News Feed Cycle
Our brains crave a constant stream of stories to keep us “in the loop.” This 24/7 news cycle spins the same tales over and over, reinforcing that everyone else is getting ahead, both in headline news and in their personal lives.
Reality Check Time
Remember, the highlight reel is just that—a highlight reel. Behind the glossy posts are everyday ups and downs that people rarely share. So before you get swept into the now‑so‑perfect narrative, take a step back, breathe, and see the whole picture. After all, nobody’s life is a flawless TikTok, and that’s totally okay!
All That Glitz, No Real Grit
Picture the internet as a glitter‑filled carnival where every booth tries to outshine the last. Dr. Games calls it a “flood of extreme info”—people bragging about doing the most amazing (or regrettably awful) things. He says, “Now, we’re not just living in a world full of the extraordinary; we’re swimming in it.”
Humans + “Extraordinary Life” = Press Conference Every Minute
We keep getting messages like, “You’ve got to live an extraordinary life, and you deserve it!” It’s like a bad teacher hired for a pep talk.
Psychologist Sheryne Seah Splits the Scene
- New Media = Show‑Stopper: Every scroll throws up stories or pictures of people who seem to have nailed success, fame, or what’s called “admiration.”
- Idealization Danger: Depending on the content we binge, we start dreaming of heights we’ll probably never reach—or we might set ourselves up to be “average” or even “above average.”
- Comparison Cost: That constant brain‑work can leave us afraid of being judged as the “not good enough” squad. It’s a recipe for low self‑esteem, burnout, anxiety, and a mood that’s about as bright as a cloudy weekend.
Every Person’s Metrics Are Different
Sheryne reminds us: not everyone burns out. Each of us has a personal yardstick. What looks like an “average life” to one could be the most meaningfully lived, wildly rich, and thoroughly joyful life for another. There’s no one‑size‑fits‑all “normal” mat hardening exists.
Bottom line? Instead of chasing the next internet superstar, maybe pause and define what “good enough” means for you. Then become your own version of the extraordinary, and keep that glitter way from getting too busy.
Can we be average and happy with it?
Embracing the “Good‑Enough” Life
We’re all tempted to chase dazzling success, but truth is, striving for perfection can grind our confidence into dust. Being average isn’t failure—just the reality that most stories you read are the winners; the dozens that didn’t make the cut usually go unnoticed.
Why “Good‑Enough” is the New Cool
- Origin story: In the 1950s, British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott coined “good enough” to untie parents from unrealistic expectations. Now we keep it in mind for every life corner—relationships, work, love.
- Culture shock: When the world worships the extraordinary, we become convinced we’re forever not good enough. That chase erodes our self‑esteem.
- Pro‑tip: Dr Games reminds us that “normal” isn’t a flaw—it’s a solid foundation. She cites American researcher Brene Brown who says a fear of being ordinary fuels narcissism. Instead, love your ordinary self.
The Power of an Ordinary Mindset
“By refusing to obsess over being extraordinary, we unlock a healthier sense of self-worth,” presents Dr Games.
What to Practice Daily
- Set realistic goals—like finishing a book rather than writing a bestseller.
- Celebrate small wins (didn’t spill coffee? You’re on a roll!).
- Talk to yourself kindly—forget the “I should be better” mantra.
So, ditch the perfect‑out‑of‑reach dream and cultivate a culture that says: “Good enough is perfectly fine.” Life’s about living the best version of you, not breaking every glass wall. Do you, and that’s all you can do.
Tips to deal with this constant barrage of exceptionalism
Be kind to yourself
Why We’re All Competing Against Ourselves
Sheryne reminds us that comparison isn’t a fancy concept – it’s the default setting on the human brain.
Being a Human Means Feeling “In the Mix”
If you can feel the urge to compare? Absolutely. Every culture, every kid, every late‑night meme‑junkie feels a flicker of that competitive spark. It’s the way we keep our socks from falling behind the “best‑of‑the‑year” fashion line.
When the Thoughts Hit “I’m Not Good Enough”
- Give yourself a hug. Imagine a fluffy, slightly overdressed teddy bear.
- Float the thought away. Picture it as a raindrop on a window – gentle, doomed to dissolve.
- Take a mini break. Count to ten, breathe in, breathe out – and recalibrate your score.
In short, we’re all wired to compare. Embrace it, but don’t let it become a full‑time job. Treat those self‑critical thoughts like that awkward Wednesday conversation – hold them lightly, move on, and laugh a little while you’re at it.
Talk to yourself
Why Harsh Self‑Talk Is a Bad Idea
Sheryne’s tip? Swap the negative chatter for something that actually helps you. If you keep nagging yourself about what you’re doing wrong, you’ll just wind up feeling more drained and stuck.
How to Mind‑Shift Your Inner Critic
- Check the Rules: Are you setting yourself impossible standards? Drop the “I must be perfect” mantra.
- Reframe the Thought: Turn “I messed up” into “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.”
- Talk Back: Give yourself a friendly pep‑talk, like you’d give a good friend. “Hey, you’ve got this!”
According to Sheryne, our usual self‑talk often doesn’t help us grow. Instead, it’s the “gotta stay good” pressure that drags us down. If we switch to supportive, realistic self‑talk, we’re more likely to bounce back and make the changes we want to see in ourselves.
Choose what you read
Tweak Your Feed: How to Curate What You Read
Ever feel like your social media is a rabbit hole? If it’s drowning you in endless scrolls, you’ve got a toolkit to escape.
Know Your Why
Ask yourself: Why am I on this app? Is it a quick laugh, an update on friends, or something else? That first step shows you what actually matters.
Mute, Unfollow, Report – Your Swiss‑Army Knife
- Mute – Hide posts that annoy you but keep the account in your network. Great for that suddenly annoying hashtag.
- Unfollow – Remove a source from your timeline entirely. If someone keeps posting mediocre memes, it’s time to say goodbye.
- Report – Push out harmful or spammy content straight to the platform’s moderation team.
Morning & Night: The Blue‑Light Break
Dr. Games, the tech psychologist, advises you avoid social media and news sites first thing and right before bed. That gives your brain a breath and keeps you from turning your phone into a sleep monologue.
Feel Good? Keep It.
Once you decide on the apps that make you feel good, let them stay. The rest? Just mute or remove.
By using a few simple quick‑action switches, you can shape a feed that actually feeds you. Happy scrolling!
Connect with your values
Discover Your Core Values and Live a Life that Rocks
Dr. Games drops a life‑changing idea: pick your five most important values and let them steer every decision. “If you know what matters most to you, you’ll make choices that feel totally authentic,” he says, almost as if he’s handing out a secret recipe for a fearless existence.
Instead of Staring at Everyone Else
Sheryne points out that obsessing over other people’s lives is a surefire way to feel stale.
Instead, set a timer, pause that comparison trap, and ask yourself: What truly matters to me? From there, think about the actions that will get you closer to the person you want to become.
Your Personal Value Checklist
- Honesty – Trust yourself and others. No need for a ‘white lie’ club.
- Growth – Embrace challenge like a champ. Every mistake is a stepping stone.
- Kindness – Random acts of good are the best way to spread sunshine.
- Balance – Work hard but also play hard. Your sanity will thank you.
- Curiosity – Keep asking “why?” My personal motto: “Stay curious, stay alive.”
Put Them Into Practice
Once you’ve nailed your five, make tiny, consistent moves that echo those values. For instance, if “kindness” sits high on your list, try texting that friend you haven’t chatted with in a while. If “growth” is top of your pile, sign up for an online course or read a book on a topic that excites you.
Remember: life is about who you become, not what you look like compared to anyone else. Clear values, real actions, and a dash of humor—now you’re ready to rock a value‑driven life!”
Live your life
Inject a Little Playfulness into Your Life
Dr. Games taps into a simple truth: a bright, playful mindset can kickstart both happiness and productivity. Each day, she urges you to either jot a note in your gratitude journal or shout a thanks out loud—any loud and loving acknowledgement works.
Try the Science of Well-Being
This free Yale course, led by Professor Laurie Santos, has people reporting a noticeable lift in mood and a boost in focus. Dr. Games considers it a must‑try for anyone looking to turn ordinary days into joyous ones.
A Little Mother Teresa Wisdom
“In this life, we cannot always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa
She reminds us that being grateful and playful is precisely those “small things with great love.” Adopting a light‑hearted vibe and daily gratitude practice is the way to keep that spirit alive.
Share the Feelings
- Write down one thing you appreciate each morning.
- Find a warm space to loudly announce your gratitude—family, friends, or even a stuffed animal!
- Enroll in the Yale Science of Well-Being course and bookmark those insights for future reference.
Get Moving to Boost Your Mood
Once you’re set on the plan, keep the energy flowing—dance around the kitchen for 2–3 minutes, or simply walk past a scenic window. It’s all about transforming everyday moments into moments of joy.
Final Takeaway
Playfulness and gratitude are easy to weave into daily life. Not only do they brighten you, but they also help you stay more productive and connected with the people you care about. So, yes—let’s shout “thank you” again and again and anchor each day with that same kind of love, no matter how small.
