Rebuilding Connections That Think They’re Lost Forever?
Meet Marissa King—Your Social-Mixologist
Ever feel like your life’s network collapsed during the pandemic, leaving you a lone wolf? You’re not the only one. Marissa King, author of the cult‑favorite book Social Chemistry and a Yale School of Management professor, has been digging deep into how COVID‑19 dealt a harsh hand to our socials and professional circles.
A Snapshot of the Pandemic’s Network Fallout
- People went “offline”—not just in the digital sense, but literally stepping back from in‑person interactions.
- Workplace ties weakened—remote work turned bosses into “email‑runners” and teammates into “muted‑video fugitives.”
- Friendships cooled—after months of quarantines, the “old‑school” like‑for‑like catch‑ups vanished like a Snapchat story after 24 hours.
King’s Playbook for Re‑Anchoring Your Social Net
When Marissa talks to Reuters, she spills a few secrets on how to refurbish both your personal and professional rapport arsenal:
- Re‑ignite old bonds politely—drop a quick message: “Hey, it’s been a while! How’s life?”
- Schedule virtual coffee dates—even a 15‑minute chat over Zoom can stretch those lumpy edges.
- Show up at events—both online and offline—and don’t forget the social part of networking: the drinks, the jokes, the “have‑you‑met‑this‑person” speeches.
- Leverage “people wheels”—a simple illustration: if you’re the hub, bring your spokes back into the circle.
All in all, the pandemic left our social and professional webs tangled, but with a measured plan—and a splash of humor—king can help you stitch them back together.
Q: How did our networks fare in the pandemic?
How the Pandemic Shrunk Our Social Circles
We took a quick glance at people’s networks in June 2019 and then swung back to the middle of lockdown in June 2020 – and wow, those connections took a hit! The numbers tell us that social circles shrank by almost 17% during the pandemic. The deafening silence was felt most acutely in the outer layers – the casual buddies, acquaintances, and those “just met” contacts. They’re the ones who just suddenly felt like invisible ghosts on our timelines.
Key Takeaways
- Overall network size was down by 17%.
- The biggest drop? Casual and acquaintanceship contacts.
- Friends inside the tight core stayed relatively intact.
Q: What effect does this have on people?
How a Big Network Can Open More Doors (And Keep You From Cracking Your Teeth)
Ever wonder why some folks seem to find jobs faster than a bakery serves donuts? It isn’t magic—it’s about the size of your network. Think of your network as a toolbox: the bigger it is, the more tools you have at hand.
Why Size Matters
- Information Flow: With more contacts, you get more updates. While your friend only tests the local pizza place, you’ll hear about the new drone delivery service ad infinitum.
- Innovation Boost: Diverse perspectives spark fresh ideas. Your cousin’s gardening hobby might inspire a new sustainable packaging concept.
- Idea Radar: Spotting trends is easier when you’re listening to many voices. One person’s quirky hobby could reveal a market niche you never noticed.
Job Hunting 101
When you’re on the lookout for that dream role, you’ll often find it through the periphery of your network.
“Most job opportunities come from the back layers of your social circle, not the front page.”
- Ask that acquaintance who likes collecting stamps for leads.
- Chat with a conference buddy you met at the coffee break.
- Tap into that group chat where everyone’s secretly studying coding.
So next time you feel stuck, swing the door to your network and let the rooms inside guide you to the next big breakthrough.
Q: Did you find any gender differences?
Why Men’s Social Circles are Shrinking—And Women’s aren’t
Ever wondered why your friend group seems smaller after the holidays? The answer might surprise you: it’s mainly a men’s problem. Recent studies show that men’s networks have contracted by roughly 30 %, while women’s have stayed largely the same.
What’s Behind the Numbers?
It turns out that how we plug into each other’s lives makes all the difference.
- Men’s long‑hold connection strategy – They keep the bond alive by doing things together: hiking, gaming, or simply grabbing a drink. When those shared activities are cut back (travel restrictions, busy schedules, or just less time), the whole network snaps.
- Women’s chat‑centric approach – Conversations are the glue. Even in the quiet moments, a quick text or a call keeps the network buoyant. That continuous verbal thread means fewer gaps form.
Humor Aside, What Can We Learn?
So next time you’re planning a barbecue or a movie night, think of it as a “network maintenance” trip. A little stroll, a laugh over a game, and a pot of coffee can keep the web tight – especially for the guys.
Tips for Keeping Your Circle Wide
- Schedule regular “dosactive” meet‑ups. Treat them like a recurring calendar event.
- Send a quick chat in between. Even a meme can bridge the distance.
- Ask your friends what they enjoy. Tailor activities to keep everyone engaged.
Remember: humor and heartfelt conversation go hand‑in‑hand with a robust social network. Keep both in play and watch your friends’ circles flourish again.
Q. How does this disconnect affect our feelings of closeness?
Loneliness in the Age of Isolation
Ever felt like everyone around you is drifting away? That’s the modern epidemic of loneliness. The pandemic just turned a subtle trend into a full‑blown reality shock.
Why the Gaps Grow Bigger
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Every year, our social circles naturally shrink a bit—nothing a bit of new friends can fix. Especially for older folks, the feeling is like a permanent echo in an empty hall.
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With lockdowns, the “safety net” of spontaneous drop‑by chats vanished. Offices closed, family gatherings moved to Zoom—people started sending fewer hand‑shakes and more texts.
What’s happening right now?
We’re all stuck on the same rocky cliff. The world feels like a big, quiet room that no longer feels welcoming. But there’s hope. Re‑connecting, however small, can bring light back into those lonely corners.
Takeaway
Don’t let the walls of isolation stop you. A quick phone call, a friendly hug, or even a casual “Hey, how’s it going?” can stitch back the fabric of community—one conversation at a time.
Q: Can this damage to our social networks be restored?
How to Beat the Lonely Tech Soup
Step 1: Show up, really show up.
In a world where our thumbs are glued to screens and Zoom meetings line up like loaves of bread, staying present with the people you’re with feels like a rare superhero move. Cutting the phone‑eye-riding grind lets you soak up the real‑world vibes, which is the ultimate shield against the dreaded loneliness monster.
Step 2: Put a little effort into reaching out.
- Remember how we’d instinctively call or text a friend when the first lockdown hit? That brilliance resurfaced, but the Zoom‑fatigue gremlin made it hard.
- Send a note, pick up the phone, tell someone you’re thinking of them. A quick “Hey, just wanted to say you’re on my mind” can turn a day from grey to sunshine!
Don’t wait for the next pandemic wave to remind you—do it now, and keep the connection spark alive. It’s simple, it’s friendly, and it’ll make your loved ones feel like they actually matter. Cheers!
Q: In your book, you talk about how it is important for people to recognize what type of networker they are?
Three Archetypes of People (No, It’s Not a Science Test)
Ever feel like you’re part of a secret society? Well, you’re not alone. Researchers have spotted three dominant personality styles that pop up in almost everyone’s social scene. Let’s dive into the quirky world of:
1. The Conveners
- They’re the social glue – keeping everyone in the loop and making sure friends mingle.
- Think of them as the “family reunion planner” who spends way more time on introductions than on the actual party.
- Result? A tight-knit circle where everyone is a mutual friend. Super handy during group “Oye‑you‑need‑to‑meet‑this‑person” moments.
2. The Brokers
- Goal: Travel between worlds like a pro traveling salesman of ideas.
- They act as bridges, flipping concepts from one sphere to another without losing tone or meaning.
- Essentially, they’re the middle‑man for fresh thinking – making sure inspiration doesn’t end up trapped in a single silo.
3. The Expansionists
- They’re mega‑networkers with a presence that feels almost Avengers‑level.
- Picture a social butterfly on steroids – their connections run from kindergarten pals to celebrity contacts.
- Outcome? Kinda the life of any party, naturally influencing trends and often being the go‑to for anything that needs a buzz.
So, do you find yourself cutting a “hanging‑out” announcement or happily passing on a juicy gossip? Chances are, you fit neatly into one of these three categories. Just remember, no matter the style, every group of friends is a bit of a wild mix of all three!
Q: Many people have an aversion to networking, so what would you say to them?
Building Bigger Networks, One Gift at a Time
The Problem
If you skip connecting, your network shrinks faster than your patience during a Monday meeting.
The Secret Weapon
Instead of chasing what others can give you, shift your focus to what you can offer. That simple flip in mindset turns outreach from a daunting chore into an exciting opportunity.
Everybody Can Shine
- Skill – Share a quick tip or a useful trick.
- Time – Offer a coffee‑break chat or a casual brainstorming session.
- Smile – Light up a room with genuine enthusiasm.
Wrap‑Up
Giving is the magic ingredient that makes reaching out feel natural, like an invitation rather than a push. So next time you’re thinking about expanding your network, remember: the more you give, the bigger your circle becomes.
Q: You study this stuff academically, but has it affected your own life as well?
Keeping Your Network Tight and Your Life Tight‑A‑Fit
Ever notice how your social circle can suddenly feel a bit… shrink‑age‑ish? I’ve been there, and I’m fine with it.
Short‑Term Priorities
- Kids first: Making sure my little ones have the stuff they need and the attention they deserve.
- Partner presence: Being there for my husband when he’s at home.
- Mind that it’s okay. A pack‑up day isn’t a bad move—just a strategy for the moment.
Long‑Term Playbook
Later on, I’ll re‑invest in my network—get back to chatting, attending events, reconnecting with old friends. It’s a part of the life cycle.
Reality Check: There’s No One‑Size‑Fits‑All Network
Everyone’s “right” network looks different, and there’s no single best path for 2025. You’re juggling trade‑offs, just like a tightrope walker with a peanut‑butter‑and‑jam sandwich.
Need a Boost?
Check out this How to Market Your Skills for the Job You Want guide—great for when you’re ready to dive back into the networking pool.
Remember: Networking isn’t a one‑off ticket; it’s a continuous, evolving journey. Keep the vibes positive and your pockets open for the next connection.
