Santa’s Hilarious Huddle to the Elven Team
Hey there, my wonderfully whimsical elves!
1⃣ The Great Toy Shift
Remember when kids actually owned toys? Not anymore – they’re streaming on phones now. Time to change the game!
- Santa‑prise: Tossed together a worldwide playground of toys, mixing up everything from action figures to plush pals. We keep them entertained, and teach them tidy‑up habits – and yes, a little cashback for clean rooms.
- Re‑opened 24‑hour sessions? Parents are spoiling bedtime snuggles by nine‑o‑clock. We’ll cut the hours.
- Budget‑friendly toy sales? Cheered – but the elves need to pay rent first. We’ll rethink the pricing strategy.
2⃣ Igloo Realty Chaos
We were all hyped about new igloo villages until Mother Nature decided to throw a snow‑ball fight.
- Winter winds swooped in, sliding away our heavy‑demand deals. Santa Clause (no pun intended) helped us bail out of pricey purchases.
- We’re rolling with mild warming, but the north wind keeps playing tricks. Future house counts will drop 12‑25% to avoid congestion from our ever‑growing reindeer herd.
- Will the ice caps melt enough to wipe those igloos out of existence? Good question!
3⃣ Yule‑ber Delivery Plays
New app built by private‑hire elves riding single‑horse sleighs.
- Kids can trade “good deed” points for extra goodies – something like a one‑stop Santa shop.
- We hit a snag: Santa’s in‑house delivery is pricey because of “last‑chimney” headaches. Solution? Lockers worldwide for pickup.
- Riding the reindeer fleet becomes a paid option. Rudolph’s nice, but let’s hope kids don’t leave the reindeer stranded after the gifts.
4⃣ Global Tensions & Economics
Tariffs on China-made gadgets – cash could soar. Shop for rookie coal? Soya beans are the cuddly stand‑in now.
- Easter Bunny is expanding into the North Pole. Negotiations are on – we’re hoping for a peaceful nibble.
- Defensive sectors: caretaking and preschool – our historic strongholds. Keep them bright, keep them growing.
Thanks for all your sparks of creativity and magic. Here’s to a paperwork‑free 2019, and a whacky, merry 2020!
— Santa Claus
(Originally published in the Business Times. Please seek permission for any reuse.)
