Wellness: My New Life—or Did I Just Replace One Obsession With Another?
Once a niche term tossed around by gurus and incense‑smelling healers, “wellness” has turned into a shiny, high‑profile word that everyone loves to brag about. It’s no longer an arcane practice; it’s the buzz we toss around in brunch pics, yoga class memes, and that grocery cart that’s always brimming with spirulina.
What Does “Wellness” Really Mean?
At its core, wellness is all about feeling good—physically, mentally, and in the holistically weird sense of “being a balanced human being.” It’s the kind of goal that looks clean and tidy on paper, but can get messy in reality.
My Obsession Starts Here
- “I want optimal wellness.”—Mission set.
- “I’ll rewrite my life—the way I’ve always wanted to.”—The plan, of course.
Truth be told, I’m not sure if this obsession came from a hidden perfectionist somewhere deep in me or if it’s just a twisted echo of the anorexia that tried to haunt me in junior college. Either way, I’ve gone full on wellness warrior mode.
The Dark Side of “Good”
We all love a little bit of “well,” but when you go overboard, that “good” can turn into a real nightmare. I know because it’s happened to me.
Earlier Days of Anorexia
I spent a few years contending with an eating disorder while chasing academic perfection. The driving force? The urge to excel in everything—grades, looks, social life—so I turned every success into a new “higher” milestone.
“I hit my goal weight, nailing grades, and even had a tight circle of friends. But the goal kept sliding lower, and I started losing periods, feeling dizzy after just a single staircase. On the outside, I looked great; inside, I was depressed, anxious, and, at times, feeling like I’d rather be gone.”
Post A-Levels: The “I Want to Be Well” Moment
After my A-Levels, I thought I’d finally scrub that negative chapter clean. I’d vowed, “No more—just wellness.”
It felt like stepping out of a toxic fog into a bright beach. Yet, little did I know, I was heading straight toward a different fixation. The quest for “well” can trap you in a new maze of self‑imposed perfection.
Bottom Line
It’s amazing how chasing wellness can lead us to the edge of a new obsession. When you’re polishing the inside of your self, make sure you’re not accidentally building another life‑hacking trap. Sometimes, the healthiest way forward is stepping back, breathing, and letting life flow naturally—no mantra required.
It’s just good business
Why We’re Obsessed With Finding the “Perfect” Wellness
Ever googled “best wellness trends” and ended up scrolling for hours? From gluten‑free snacking to juice‑only sweats, there’s a new fix waiting around every corner. The twist? The whole industry is worth more than a stack of mahogany books – $4.2 trillion in 2017 according to the Global Wellness Institute. That’s a 6.4% jump from just a couple of years earlier.
What’s in the Wellness Pot?
- Personal care, beauty & anti‑aging products
- Food trends that promise slimmer selves
- Fitness regimes that claim to turn your body into a temple
- Mind‑body practices like yoga, meditation, and crystal‑energy hocus‑pocus
- “Personalised medicine” that reminds you of your DNA notes
Everyone’s Trying to One‑Up Themself
It’s tough to separate the gold from the glitter. I’m not alone – almost everyone wants the “ideal” state of wellness, and most are willing to drop a few grand to get there. Think about all those detox plans, exotic juices, crystals, pills, and potions that tug on our collective anxious nails.
How “Goop” Started
- Gwyneth Paltrow launched Goop in her teen‑aged years, turning it into a full‑blown lifestyle empire.
- At first, her fans—my friends and I—snickered about her “oil‑pulling kits” and quartz‑infused water bottles (super‑sacred plastic bottles that supposedly fend off bad vibes).
- Later, even I got caught up. After battling my own anorexia, I thought, “I’ll invest in whatever promises a complete reset.”
My Wellness Quest (a.k.a. My “Health Hub”)
- Cracked open the biggest supplement box you’ve ever seen.
- Built a fridge full of “super‑foods” that glowed like a sci‑fi pantry.
- Touched essential oils on wrists, hoping the fragrances would ease my anxiety—and somehow, they did.
- Candle‑lit evenings turned into late‑night therapy sessions.
When Friends Notice the Extravaganza
My friends and family stared at each other, then at my glitter‑filled room, and asked if something was wrong. I’d swear I was healing, but I didn’t notice the fine print: I was feeding into a booming $4.3 trillion industry, chasing the next “miracle.” The solution? Stop chasing the hype and focus on the real deal—with a dash of humor, a pinch of skepticism, and a sprinkle of love for yourself.
When wellness made me unwell
Wellness, More Than Just Being Well
Was wellness really about simply feeling fine? I was living opposite of that— feeling as if I’d jumped into a blender and the bottle shattered.
My dream was to ditch the anorexia‑tattooed past and bloom fresh, shiny, and healthy. I’d look at every fit woman in glossy health magazines and see them standing tall, scrolling through my Insta feed, knowing they were on the right track. I believed in that and tried to live up to it.
Reality check: Balance is the missing ingredient
I thought a clean, goal‑oriented routine would fix everything, but what I missed was that balance is the real superpower. My frantic acquisition of smoothies, superfoods, and the same day‑by‑day calorie counting that haunted my anorexic phase was a symptom of a deeper, unaddressed mess.
When healthy habits turn into performance art
- Filling my fridge with greens and counting every kale leaf like a math test.
- Wearing the ‘fit’ badge like a phone case, only to feel off‑center if I miss a step.
- Being anxious whenever a workout routine’s time drops even if I never actually feel any of the extra weight.
I learned that addressing the mental side can be easier than swiping through a grocery app for the same amount of calories. If the brain wasn’t happy, no health routine could save the day.
The road to recovery
Finding My Way Back to Feeling Like a Human
Recognising I was in trouble didn’t automatically put me on a “get‑better‑fast” path. I first had to admit, “Okay, I’ve got a problem,” and then learn how to accept the help I actually need.
What True Wellness Really Means
My therapist buddy once told me that real wellness is all about hard‑looking at what’s making you feel squeaky‑snappy. For me, it was this nagging need to drop every single flaw or mistake that had turned my mind into a chaotic furnace.
“If I could just be a little kinder to myself, I’d stop playing the ‘perfection’ solitaire game I’ve been stuck on,” I thought.
How the Quest for Perfection Destroyed My Energy
- Broken and exhausted from the endless binge‑watching of my own self‑critical thoughts.
- Self‑loathing, just like that nightmare of hitting the “perfect weight” goal back at 18.
- Every day felt like a “tug of war” with my own internal standards.
So, I had to dig into the mind‑maze and listen to those negative voices – “You’re mediocre, you don’t deserve love” – and then understand exactly why those voices were a‑glowing like a glitchy TV set.
The Stirring Conversation with Me
Why was I still unhappy with my appearance and my vibe? It was hard to talk to myself, but absolutely essential for me to finally emerge out of the tunnel.
I broke the patterns that had been hurting me: I stopped overdoing my twice‑daily yoga to the point of cranky aches and I let go of that green‑juice‑every‑morning ritual that fed my over‑critical mind.
Whenever the overwhelm hit, instead of pulling my healing crystal hoping it’d zap the bad vibes, I’d pause, reflect, and ask myself “What am I feeling right now?” Because the bad energy was me, not something external.
Delving Deeper: Wellness Starts Inside
It all starts with loving yourself, no matter what. Step back, do the things that actually make you smile—chatting with a friend, lounging with a good book—and be true to yourself. Acknowledge that you’re a human with flaws, and love it, because that’s the heart of real wellness.
At the end of it all, it’s about that unconstrained, unwavering self‑love that keeps you grounded.
—Originally written for CLEO Singapore.
